Things That Go Bump In The Night

Published December 2, 2014 by marshaz333

I have been accused in the past of “embellishing” some of my stories and while I do try to put a humorous spin on these tales, let me assure you that there is no embellishment.

I stand behind each and every, well, most of these yarns.

But today, I’m just going to give the facts.

Just the facts.

You can draw your own conclusions.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the Mr., Taj & I traveled to the Great White North (aka NY).  We had a great and relaxing time visiting with the kids and the rest of the family.  We even got to have a fun pizza and wings night with the Fierce’s.

It was lots of fun.

We ate and laughed and talked and ate and napped and ate and ate some more.

I think Taj doubled in size from turkey alone!!

{Ok……….maybe that was a bit of an embellishment!}

But something happened to me on Thursday that I cannot explain.

Up in the afternoon, I went upstairs to plug in my cell phone and to go to the potty.

{Sorry, but that’s relevant to the story.}

Before going into the bathroom, I took off my big ole ring and laid it on the middle of the white table in our room.

Right in the middle.

Not on the edge.

When I came back in the room, the ring was gone.

My first thought was that it rolled toward the back part of the table so I moved things and looked for it.

Nothing.

It was gone.

Then I thought………yep……..someone is messing with me.

I’m pretty gullible and Andrew LOVES to get me so I figured he had snuck up the stairs and nabbed the ring.

Then in true Mish fashion, a random thought entered my head.

It happens a lot.

Kinda like a dog with a squirrel.

Anyway, I thought “hair clip”.

I remembered that I had left my only hair clip on the bathroom sink that very morning and wanted to grab it before it got knocked into the trash or toilet or something.

So I turned around, walked into the bathroom and came straight back to the bedroom.

Maybe took me a second.

And, lo and BE-hold, there was that ring!!

Right where I had left it!!!!!

Middle of the table.

Not against anything else.

Not near the edge.

Right.

Were.

I.

Put.

It.

I thought that whoever was messing with me had hidden away and when I left the room, put the ring back.   And now they are back in their hiding place.

Pretty sneaky.

But the only person at the house who is small enough to hide so quickly was my niece, Sarah.

She must be pulling a prank on her old aunt.

I know I didn’t hear her on the stairs so she must still be hiding.

I put my ring back on, turned off the light and hurried down the stairs.

As I came around the stairs into the dining room I see her.

Sarah.

In the kitchen.

On the floor.

Playing with Taj.

With about 10 people between her and me.

There is NO WAY she got down the stairs and into the kitchen that fast without me hearing her.

No WAY!

So who was it?

We may never know but the Mr. has a theory.

He believes it must be a ghost who likes “gaudy” jewelry!!

Not sure who he was trying to insult…….

….Me or the ghost!!!

~Mish~

 

 

One of Those Days

Published November 25, 2014 by marshaz333

You know how some days you just feel good about yourself?

Those days when your hair cooperates.

Those days when all your clothes fit just right.

Those days when you just feel good.

Today is not one of those days!!!

Today is the day when I go home for lunch after walking around the office all day, unaware, and the Mr. says “What’s that on your shirt?”.

That’s when I find out that the “water spot” on my shirt from brushing my teeth this morning is really a giant grease stain that not only didn’t come out in the wash but has now been seared into the fabric through the magic of the dryer.

It’s a forever spot on my weekly purple shirt.

This is why I should never eat, drink or cook while wearing my be-seen-out-in-the-public clothes.

UGH!!

~Mish~

 

 

Fluffed and Buffed

Published November 24, 2014 by marshaz333

Today was Spa Day for Taj.

He so loves going to the groomer’s.

He doesn’t like STAYING at the groomer’s but the going is big fun!!

We’re really happy with the clinic where Taj goes, both for grooming and to see the vet.  Everybody is really nice and they seem to really love Taj.

Of course, what’s not to love?!?!?!?!

IMG_20141116_200305

It’s a place where everybody knows his name.

Like Norm at Cheers.

When I take him in, all the girls say “Taj!!” as if it’s been forever since they’ve seen him.

And he prances and struts around like the big dog on campus.

But when I pick him up, it’s a different story.

When I go get him at lunchtime, he’s mad.

I mean, he is ticked right off!!

How DARE I leave him.

How DARE I let them clip his toenails.

How DARE I allow the booty-shaving that he so desperately needs.

And today was no different.

He wouldn’t look at me.

He wouldn’t kiss me (and he’s a kisser from way back).

He wanted nothing to do with me………until I started eating lunch.  Then I was his BFF.

So after dropping him off at home, I was heading back to work and my phone rings.

The Mr. has my phone set up to ring through the car stereo and the caller ID even comes up on the console.

That Mr. is one smart dude.

Of course, Mrs. Magoo can’t read the caller ID and drive at the same time so I just hit the button to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Animal Medical Clinic.  I’m calling to let you know that Taj is ready to be picked up.”

…..

“I picked him up already.”

“You did????”

“Yes, about 45 minutes ago.”

“Oh, ok. Bye.”

Oh yes, they are right on the ball today! :-)

Gave me a bit of a chuckle!

Happy Monday, everyone!!

~Mish~

 

 

Young Preachers & Michael Moore

Published November 21, 2014 by marshaz333

One of the toughest things about moving to KY was finding a church.

Not that there aren’t lots of great churches in our area but the Mr. & I just couldn’t seem to find one that we both really loved.

Until recently.

We finally found a place that seems to fit our different needs but we can still worship together.

There’s just one little, itty-bitty issue.

It’s MY issue, really.

I went to high school with the preacher.

I know your thinking, “What’s the problem with that??”.

Well, here’s the problem…..

The preacher is MY age.

MY age.

Aren’t preachers supposed to be old??

Preachers and doctors.

Old.

At least older than ME!!

And to make matters worse, this guy looks just exactly like he did in school.

Not one day older.

No pot belly.

No gray hair.

Just the same.

It’s sad, really.

But since he’s a good preacher, I am willing to overlook the fact that he’s just barely over 18.

Like me.  :-)

This past weekend, the Mr. and I both came down with the sickness.

Not sure exactly what the ailment was but we both were feeling rather puney so Monday we stayed home on the couch under a pile of blankets.

It was a yucky day.

But up in the day, the Mr. convinced me that I’d feel better if I took a shower.

Actually, I think I was starting to smell a little ripe and he needed some relief.

So I took a long shower and even washed my greasy, nasty hair.

I did feel a little better.

I got my hair dried and put on some clean lounging-around clothes and that’s when we decided it “feels like an Arby’s night”.

Since it was past dark, the Mr. agreed to drive me to Arby’s if I would go in to get the food.

I know………there’s a wonderful new invention called the “drive-thru” but for some reason, the drive-thru doesn’t work for the Mr.

I don’t know what the problem is.

He pulls right up.

He orders in a clear, concise voice.

But they cannot understand a word he says.

It’s quite comical sometimes but it frustrates him to the max.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s so soft spoken.

Or maybe that he’s a Yankee but whatever the reason, he just can’t use a drive-thru.

So I agreed to the deal.

He’d drive…..I’d go in.

It had snowed that day so I pulled out my big ole NY snow boots and shoved my feet in.  Toasty!

Then I put on my big ole puffy coat that I don’t usually need in KY but it’s very warm.

Now I’m all puffed up.

I look in the mirror and see my pale-as-a-ghost, no-make-up-face staring at me beneath a mess of clean hair.  I need to cover up!!

I grab the Mr.’s ball cap and put on my glasses in hopes of hiding a little of the hideousness.

I look in the mirror.

Michael Moore is staring back at me.

(via ranker.com)

(via ranker.com)

Oh well.

It’s just a quick trip to Arby’s.

No problem.

Off we go and when I get out of the car at Arby’s I tell the Mr. that if he sees me slip on the ice, to come help me up.

Just as I open the restaurant door, I see him.

Right there.

Looking like 1985.

THE PREACHER!!!!

What do I do???

Do I back out and insist that we try the drive-thru?

Do I go in and hope he doesn’t see or recognize me??

Yes, that’s it.

That’s exactly what I’ll do.

And just as I slip inside the Arby’s, he turns and says “Hey, Marsha”!!

He saw AND recognized me!!!

Oh the humanity!

I immediately started fasting and praying that God would call me home to Glory but seeing as God likes a good chuckle as much as I do, He let me struggle on!

Of course, I tried to cough and sniffle as much as possible to make sure that Doogie-Preacher knew that I was afflicted with a sickness and would NEVER go out in the public looking like this otherwise.

I’m not sure he bought it.

I do worry for his kids who were with him, though.

They may need a bit of the therapy to get rid of the nightmares.

Then the most amazing thing happened.

Just as the preacher was finishing up his order, he made a corny joke.

Like really corny.

I chuckled.

It was funny.

The teenager behind the counter looked at him like he had two heads!!!

I guess he’s not that young after all.  :-)

~Mish~

 

I Spy

Published November 14, 2014 by marshaz333

See this face?

603706_10152785656677141_7003223097342255108_n

So cute.

So furry.

So innocent.

So NOT!!

It’s no secret that I love and spoil this little guy rotten.  And most usually he’s good as gold.

But last night he was rambunctious.

He was sneaky.

He was…..well, he was funny!!

I’ve shared with ya’ll before how the Mr. sometimes snores.

Right.In.My.EAR!!

So my solution?  Ear plugs.

Actually plug.  Singular.

I figure since I’ve got one ear firmly smashed into the pillow, I just need a plug for the top ear.  The one he’s snoring directly into!!

So I bought these lovely hot pink ear plugs and keep them on the table beside my bed.  Then if I need one, I can simply reach over, grab a plug and problem solved.

Well, ok, maybe it’s not “simply”.

I do huff and puff and moan and groan just to show that Mr. how much of an annoyance it is to reach over to the side table.

He doesn’t notice.

He just snores away!

Well, the other night, I noticed that one of those hot pink plugs had fallen between the mattress and the rail of the bed and was perched just out of my reach.

I tried to get it but my Pika fingers were too short and my man-hands were too huge to grab it.

So I left it.

Big mistake.

HUGE!

Last night, after staying up later than usual to watch the officials hand over a win to the Miami Dolphins………snatched from the reach of our beloved Buffalo Bills, I finally got in bed and did my wifely duty of scratching the Mr.’s back while he relaxed.

And by wifely duty, I mean I complained and huffed and puffed and flipped and flopped around to show my dislike of this ritual.

He didn’t pay attention.

He was relaxing.

Then we heard it.

A faint scratching sound.

Taj was under the bed!

Now it really doesn’t bother me that he goes under there.  It’s really quite funny to watch him army-crawl from one side to the other.  Though it is pretty dusty down there and he probably doesn’t need to be breathing all that in.

But it bugs the stuffin’ out of the Mr. that he’s under there.  He’s sure that the bed will fall and crush Taj to death.

Now, let’s be clear, we have never, EVER broken our bed down and while we are neither one of us skinny-minny’s, the chances of us falling on our little Taj are pretty slim.

But once the Mr. mentions the squishing of the dog, I start to worry and have to get up and get him out of there.

Last night, though, I was too tired so I just leaned over the bed to call him out.

And when I did, this is what I saw:

IMG_20141114_102734

There was that little Taj-y scratching and clawing and licking at the bed rail.

What was he doing??

There’s nothing there!

There’s.

Nothing.

There.

Then it hit me!!!

The plug………..it was gone!!!!

So I guess I’m now on poop patrol until that hot pink plug makes an appearance!!

Should be a fun weekend! :-(

~Mish~

 

Tis The Season

Published October 31, 2014 by marshaz333

Now that the weather is turning cooler and the sun starts going down around 2:30 in the afternoon, my thoughts start leaning toward the holidays ahead.

Today happens to be Halloween, which I don’t necessarily celebrate but not because of any high and mighty reason. Just that I’m old, have no little kids and, well…………I’m old.

One of my most memorable Halloweens was back before the Mr. and I got married. I flew to NY to visit and got to go with the Mr. to take the kids trick-or-treating in the Mr.’s old stomping ground of Sloan.

Or as the Mr. once told me, the capital of Poland. :-)

Anyway, the Mr.’s grandma lived in that neighborhood so we walked all over and ended up at her house for a visit. It was lots of fun.

kids

As you can see, they were (and still are) just cute as CAN be!

But that little Brian was (and still is) a rascal.

{See him with that sword right in his brother’s back????}

{Rascal}

That aggrevatin’ guy kept sticking his plastic sword down in the storm drains which were full of leaves and gunk and then he would stab at his brother with it.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I said “don’t stab your brother with that nasty sword”!!

I’d be rich!!

I also remember that night because of a Dracula dude that lived in that neighborhood.

While the wife was handing out the candy, that scary guy would walk toward me on the sidewalk trying to scare me.

Really???

A woman fully growed???

You think I’m sceared????

HECK YES I WAS SCARED!!

I’m still a little scared just thinking about it.

Every time he saw us, he would come toward me with that creepy stare and that capey-cape on!

Terrifying!!

But this week also boasts another holiday.

One that my sisters and I look forward to every year.

One that brings us great joy.

Did you know about it??

Did you hear???

The news was first heralded by my friend, Heavy D, on the Facebook.

Is this right?

Can it be true?

Is it time?????

Then, almost as a miracle come true, Molly confirmed the news…………

THE McRIB IS BACK!!!!

magejpeg_2_3

Yes, people, it’s celebration time indeed!!!!

That yummy slab of “pork” doused in delicious bbq sauce and covered in onion and pickle is here for a limited time.

Be still my heart!!

{Well, actually, you eat enough of these things and your heart will indeed be still!}

I had one today.

It was awesome!

Happy McRib, everybody!!

~Mish~

 

Sleep, Shadow & Spuds

Published October 23, 2014 by marshaz333

Well, the Mr. and I have gotten back on our diet this week.

And I’m about to starve absolutely to death!!!

Why is it that when you “can” eat, you don’t want to eat but when you “can’t”, you can’t get enough????

So needless to say, it’s been a crabby week for me.

And that poor, poor Mr.

How he puts up with me sometimes is a mystery.

So not only am I in constant complaint mode over the lack of Mt. Dew and potato chips, I’ve also decided to renew my quest for a brother for Taj.  I’ve found the perfect guy and have been begging, pleading and otherwise annoying the Mr. in hopes that he will finally break and let me get this guy.

If you see me on the Facebook, then Shadow is no stranger to you.  But here is his little picture:

shadow4

Can’t you just see him and Taj playing and wrestling and cuddling up to sleep????

I’ll keep you updated if the Mr. starts to crack.

No crack just yet.

I’ve also had some trouble sleeping this week.

Probably from all the starving.

My Fitbit keeps track of my sleep patterns and this is what it usually looks like:

Screenshot_2014-10-23-11-09-41

and this:

Screenshot_2014-10-23-11-09-45

The light blue is all the times I’m restless and the pink is when I’m awake (probably stumbling to the potty!!).

But this morning I woke up fresh as a daisy and feelin’ mighty fine.  I checked with the magical Fitbit and lo and behold…………SLEEP!!

Screenshot_2014-10-23-11-10-06

Look at that!  I didn’t move all night.

No flip-flopping like a fish.

No potty breaks.

Of course, now that the day is almost over, I could use a good nap!

And since I’m not eating food this week, I want to share with you my experience from a couple of weekends ago.

Marti & I went to Indianapolis for a women’s conference and while we where there I had an experience that I had only dreamed about.

My very first food truck lunch!!

There were several trucks all lined up on the street but we chose the Circle City Spud truck.

circlecityspuds.com

circlecityspuds.com

It was freezing cold and drizzling a bit but I was so excited that I barely noticed!!!

I mean, as an obsessive Food Network watcher, I had seen every episode of every season of “The Great Food Truck Race” and now I was gonna get to actually eat something from a food truck!

I just was beside myself!!!

Sad, yes; but wait til you see what I ate…..

IMG_20141010_123424

This is called Naptown Mac & BBQ Spud.

Oh yes!

A loaded baked potato with cheese sauce, BBQ pork, mac & cheese and BACON!!!

Top it all off with some sour cream and that, my friends, is artery-clogging goodness!!!

And that’s also why I’m back to the diet this week.

Oh well, it was totally worth it!!  :-)

~Mish~

 

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