Calgon Take Me Away

Published April 17, 2015 by marshaz333

Have you ever had one of those days?

You know the ones.

The ones where you would have been better off to just snuggle down in those covers and sleep the day away?

Well, that’s exactly what I should have done today.

It started out like every other work day.

I hauled myself up out of a deep sleep to let the dogs out.

Yes, I said dogs.

As in more than one.

For those of you who don’t know, we added to our family a few months ago.

You remember Shadow, the dog I spent MONTHS begging the Mr. for?

Well, it’s a long story but let me just say:

We got a new dog.

His name is Shadow.

{Ok, I guess it’s not that long a story!}

Anywho, I let the dogs out, answering the age-old question of “who” and by the time I got them fed, medicated (Shadow) and cheesed (both), I was a smidge on the tardy side.

Of course, that didn’t stop me from laying back down on the bed for a “minute”.

I eventually, after many minutes, got myself back up and started getting ready for work.

Let me pause right here to bring you up to speed on a couple of riveting things:

1. Since Shadow has come into our lives, the days of morning showers are long gone! That cutie guy wakes me up at such odd times, I can’t get on a schedule so I’ve just switched to night showers. It works pretty well except for the hair.

2. A while back I finally got fed up with the shaggy mane that is my hair and had Christi just cut it all off!!! I told her I needed to be able to wash it at night and she said “no problem, just wet it the next morning, dry & style it”.


That has YET to happen.

Yes, I’ve washed it.

Yes, I’ve dried it.

But oh, no, I have not even THOUGHT about wetting it the next morning.

I just go with whatever wild thing I wake up with.

And that brings us to this morning.

When I sat down at the dressing table to work on this head, it became obvious that a family of muskrats had made a nest in my hair.

I think it was Suzy and Sam.

That hair was WILD and was sticking up every which way.

So I curled and sprayed and waxed and sprayed and curled some more and finally got it in some semblance of order. Though I’m afraid the back still shows signs of a rodent party.

By the time I did all that, brushed my teeth, put on my shoes and grabbed my purse, I was really running late.

And now the dogs are barking.

Well, actually, only one barks.

The other honks.

And the more Taj barks, the more Shadow honks.

It can be quite deafening.

So I race to the laundry room and set the security alarm.

Now I have 60 seconds to get out the door before the alarm sounds.

I hurry to the garage door and pull.

And tug.

And pull.

And tug.

That silly door has swollen so much, that my little noodle arms can’t get it open.

FINALLY, it opens and out runs Shadow!!

Right into the garage.

Now, I’ve got Bob Barker behind me, mad because he thinks his brother is going for a ride.

I’ve got Honky McHonker running all around the garage thinking he’s going for a ride.

And time is ticking down on that crazy alarm!!!


That was it.

That was my cue.

That’s where I should have hit the sheets.

Instead, I shut off the alarm, convinced Shadow to come back in the house and we started all over.

This time I was able to use my big ole purse to block that slippery little devil from getting out the door.

Or course, the whole time it’s BARK, BARK, BARK, HONK, HONK, HONK…………

I shoulda stayed in bed.



Love Hurts

Published February 11, 2015 by marshaz333


Have you ever said something and as soon as the words come out of your mouth, you wish you could take them back?


Just me???

Sadly, I do this more than I’d like to admit.

And last night was no exception.

If I’d only taken the time to think it out in my head before I let those words fly out.

If only I’d kept my thoughts to myself.

If only I had remembered what Dad had tried to instill in me.

I knew better.

I was taught better.

But there it was.

Out there.

Feelings were hurt.

Remorse set in.

I’ve replayed it over and over again, knowing full well that I am a disappointment to my raisin’.

Maybe it was the pain from a mouth covered in fever blisters.

Maybe it was the sore nose that is apparently gearing up to replace Rudolph next Christmas.

Maybe it was the headache that started in my actual eye socket.

Maybe it was the lateness of the hour.

Whatever made me do it, I swore right then and there that I would never let it happen again.

Never again will I allow my mouth to get ahead of my brain.

Never again will I give the Mr. the opportunity to out-McLean me.

Because, my friends, he JUMPED on it!!!

In my hour of weakness, I innocently and without thinking said these words to the Mr. just as we were going to bed last night:

“My face hurts”.

That’s when my sweet, loving, caring, precious husband said, without a moment’s hesitation:

“Yeah, it’s hurting me too”.

He’s been in the family too long!


Pride Goeth Before A Fall…..

Published December 22, 2014 by marshaz333

It’s Christmas Week!!


This year I am determined to be organized and ready to thoroughly enjoy time with family and friends.

Plus I’m super excited to see what Santa is bringing me!! :-)

I had 2 goals for the weekend…..

1.  Finish wrapping all the presents; and

2.  Get my grocery shopping done.

The first goal was pretty easy. I got everything wrapped and under the tree and even re-wrapped Shelby’s gift that Taj had angrily unwrapped last week. Silly dog!

The big challenge was Kroger.

Now, normally I detest the grocery.

I hate the planning, the list, the driving to and from, the shopping and loading and unloading of the car. And after all that, I get to look forward to the putting away of all the stuff.

Not my idea of a fun day!

But I knew that Sunday would be the worst Kroger day of them all.

Because I knew that everyone in this town would be getting their Christmas grocery shopping done on this same day at the same time.

I even warned the Mr. that I could be gone for HOURS!

And sure enough, the parking lot was full.

I tried to snag a cart from the lot to save time in the store (Belle taught me that trick!) but there were none.

I went in the store and there were TWO carts.


Not a good sign.

I quickly went up and down each aisle, grabbing the stuff on my list.

I was feeling pretty good about myself.

I was getting this DONE!!

Then I turned the corner on the baking aisle.

Oh my goomy-gosh!!!

It was like an obstacle course, full of people, carts and PEOPLE!

So I hiked up my big-girl-britches and pushed my way into the crowd.

Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me……….

And that’s where I ran into my first problem.

I’m not sure exactly who designed grocery stores or who decided what items go on which shelves, or even how deep those shelves need to be but I’m pretty confident that it was a taller-than-average GIANT.

I needed some Bisquick.

Well, apparently so did everybody else in Frankfort because there were only a few left.

A few.

On the top shelf.

Pushed all the way to the back!


I looked around and didn’t see anyone who I deemed tall enough to reach that silly Bisquick.

Then I spotted her.

Coming up the aisle was a young girl who stood head and shoulders above the crowd.

Putting on my most pathetic short-girl face, I asked this amazon-child if she would be so kind as to get me one of those Bisquicks down. She so nicely climbed up the shelves and got me one.

As I’m thanking her, I hear a lady behind me say “Would you mind grabbing me two of those?”.

Sure enough, a line of short little ladies was forming behind me.

I hope that girl wasn’t stuck too long in the Bisquick section!!


I finally got out of that store with most of my sanity in place, though there was a tense moment when I couldn’t find the cocoa and a nice lady helped talk me through where it might be.

Kroger is so fun!

I got home with all my purchases, the Mr. helped carry it all in and I began the task of finding a place for it all.

In no time, I had it all put away and even organized all the items I bought for making various and sundry dishes to take to the Christmas goings-on this week. I’ve got all the non-refrigerated items in bags according to the recipes and stored in another room. This will ensure that the Mr. doesn’t dip into any of the goodies that aren’t for plain guzzlin’.

By the time I went to bed last night, I was feeling as proud as a peacock at how “READY” I am for this week.

Gifts are wrapped, groceries are purchased, and I only have to work 2 days this week.

I could not be more proud of myself.


It’s a dangerous thing.

Just when you feel you’ve got life all together, you forget one little thing.

One little important thing.

Something like setting the alarm clock.

I heard Taj snorting around this morning and prayed that he would go back to sleep “until the alarm goes off”.

{I pray this a lot.}

Thank the good Lord that Taj didn’t go back to sleep.

No, instead he climbed up in the bed with us and started rolling around and even barked a little bark to wake me up.

I finally stirred and looked at the clock.



I overslept!!!

By fourteen minutes!!!!!

I jumped up, got in the shower and I’ve been at a dead run ever since.

Well, maybe not a run.

I did take a minutes or two to lay back down after my shower.

Getting ready for work can be exhausting!!!

Oh well, so much for being ready and organized.

What would I do without my little Taj-y?????

Probably still be asleep, that’s what!!

Merry Christmas, ya’ll.



Things That Go Bump In The Night

Published December 2, 2014 by marshaz333

I have been accused in the past of “embellishing” some of my stories and while I do try to put a humorous spin on these tales, let me assure you that there is no embellishment.

I stand behind each and every, well, most of these yarns.

But today, I’m just going to give the facts.

Just the facts.

You can draw your own conclusions.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the Mr., Taj & I traveled to the Great White North (aka NY).  We had a great and relaxing time visiting with the kids and the rest of the family.  We even got to have a fun pizza and wings night with the Fierce’s.

It was lots of fun.

We ate and laughed and talked and ate and napped and ate and ate some more.

I think Taj doubled in size from turkey alone!!

{Ok……….maybe that was a bit of an embellishment!}

But something happened to me on Thursday that I cannot explain.

Up in the afternoon, I went upstairs to plug in my cell phone and to go to the potty.

{Sorry, but that’s relevant to the story.}

Before going into the bathroom, I took off my big ole ring and laid it on the middle of the white table in our room.

Right in the middle.

Not on the edge.

When I came back in the room, the ring was gone.

My first thought was that it rolled toward the back part of the table so I moved things and looked for it.


It was gone.

Then I thought………yep……..someone is messing with me.

I’m pretty gullible and Andrew LOVES to get me so I figured he had snuck up the stairs and nabbed the ring.

Then in true Mish fashion, a random thought entered my head.

It happens a lot.

Kinda like a dog with a squirrel.

Anyway, I thought “hair clip”.

I remembered that I had left my only hair clip on the bathroom sink that very morning and wanted to grab it before it got knocked into the trash or toilet or something.

So I turned around, walked into the bathroom and came straight back to the bedroom.

Maybe took me a second.

And, lo and BE-hold, there was that ring!!

Right where I had left it!!!!!

Middle of the table.

Not against anything else.

Not near the edge.






I thought that whoever was messing with me had hidden away and when I left the room, put the ring back.   And now they are back in their hiding place.

Pretty sneaky.

But the only person at the house who is small enough to hide so quickly was my niece, Sarah.

She must be pulling a prank on her old aunt.

I know I didn’t hear her on the stairs so she must still be hiding.

I put my ring back on, turned off the light and hurried down the stairs.

As I came around the stairs into the dining room I see her.


In the kitchen.

On the floor.

Playing with Taj.

With about 10 people between her and me.

There is NO WAY she got down the stairs and into the kitchen that fast without me hearing her.


So who was it?

We may never know but the Mr. has a theory.

He believes it must be a ghost who likes “gaudy” jewelry!!

Not sure who he was trying to insult…….

….Me or the ghost!!!




One of Those Days

Published November 25, 2014 by marshaz333

You know how some days you just feel good about yourself?

Those days when your hair cooperates.

Those days when all your clothes fit just right.

Those days when you just feel good.

Today is not one of those days!!!

Today is the day when I go home for lunch after walking around the office all day, unaware, and the Mr. says “What’s that on your shirt?”.

That’s when I find out that the “water spot” on my shirt from brushing my teeth this morning is really a giant grease stain that not only didn’t come out in the wash but has now been seared into the fabric through the magic of the dryer.

It’s a forever spot on my weekly purple shirt.

This is why I should never eat, drink or cook while wearing my be-seen-out-in-the-public clothes.





Fluffed and Buffed

Published November 24, 2014 by marshaz333

Today was Spa Day for Taj.

He so loves going to the groomer’s.

He doesn’t like STAYING at the groomer’s but the going is big fun!!

We’re really happy with the clinic where Taj goes, both for grooming and to see the vet.  Everybody is really nice and they seem to really love Taj.

Of course, what’s not to love?!?!?!?!


It’s a place where everybody knows his name.

Like Norm at Cheers.

When I take him in, all the girls say “Taj!!” as if it’s been forever since they’ve seen him.

And he prances and struts around like the big dog on campus.

But when I pick him up, it’s a different story.

When I go get him at lunchtime, he’s mad.

I mean, he is ticked right off!!

How DARE I leave him.

How DARE I let them clip his toenails.

How DARE I allow the booty-shaving that he so desperately needs.

And today was no different.

He wouldn’t look at me.

He wouldn’t kiss me (and he’s a kisser from way back).

He wanted nothing to do with me………until I started eating lunch.  Then I was his BFF.

So after dropping him off at home, I was heading back to work and my phone rings.

The Mr. has my phone set up to ring through the car stereo and the caller ID even comes up on the console.

That Mr. is one smart dude.

Of course, Mrs. Magoo can’t read the caller ID and drive at the same time so I just hit the button to answer it.


“Hi, this is Animal Medical Clinic.  I’m calling to let you know that Taj is ready to be picked up.”


“I picked him up already.”

“You did????”

“Yes, about 45 minutes ago.”

“Oh, ok. Bye.”

Oh yes, they are right on the ball today! :-)

Gave me a bit of a chuckle!

Happy Monday, everyone!!




Young Preachers & Michael Moore

Published November 21, 2014 by marshaz333

One of the toughest things about moving to KY was finding a church.

Not that there aren’t lots of great churches in our area but the Mr. & I just couldn’t seem to find one that we both really loved.

Until recently.

We finally found a place that seems to fit our different needs but we can still worship together.

There’s just one little, itty-bitty issue.

It’s MY issue, really.

I went to high school with the preacher.

I know your thinking, “What’s the problem with that??”.

Well, here’s the problem…..

The preacher is MY age.

MY age.

Aren’t preachers supposed to be old??

Preachers and doctors.


At least older than ME!!

And to make matters worse, this guy looks just exactly like he did in school.

Not one day older.

No pot belly.

No gray hair.

Just the same.

It’s sad, really.

But since he’s a good preacher, I am willing to overlook the fact that he’s just barely over 18.

Like me.  :-)

This past weekend, the Mr. and I both came down with the sickness.

Not sure exactly what the ailment was but we both were feeling rather puney so Monday we stayed home on the couch under a pile of blankets.

It was a yucky day.

But up in the day, the Mr. convinced me that I’d feel better if I took a shower.

Actually, I think I was starting to smell a little ripe and he needed some relief.

So I took a long shower and even washed my greasy, nasty hair.

I did feel a little better.

I got my hair dried and put on some clean lounging-around clothes and that’s when we decided it “feels like an Arby’s night”.

Since it was past dark, the Mr. agreed to drive me to Arby’s if I would go in to get the food.

I know………there’s a wonderful new invention called the “drive-thru” but for some reason, the drive-thru doesn’t work for the Mr.

I don’t know what the problem is.

He pulls right up.

He orders in a clear, concise voice.

But they cannot understand a word he says.

It’s quite comical sometimes but it frustrates him to the max.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s so soft spoken.

Or maybe that he’s a Yankee but whatever the reason, he just can’t use a drive-thru.

So I agreed to the deal.

He’d drive…..I’d go in.

It had snowed that day so I pulled out my big ole NY snow boots and shoved my feet in.  Toasty!

Then I put on my big ole puffy coat that I don’t usually need in KY but it’s very warm.

Now I’m all puffed up.

I look in the mirror and see my pale-as-a-ghost, no-make-up-face staring at me beneath a mess of clean hair.  I need to cover up!!

I grab the Mr.’s ball cap and put on my glasses in hopes of hiding a little of the hideousness.

I look in the mirror.

Michael Moore is staring back at me.



Oh well.

It’s just a quick trip to Arby’s.

No problem.

Off we go and when I get out of the car at Arby’s I tell the Mr. that if he sees me slip on the ice, to come help me up.

Just as I open the restaurant door, I see him.

Right there.

Looking like 1985.


What do I do???

Do I back out and insist that we try the drive-thru?

Do I go in and hope he doesn’t see or recognize me??

Yes, that’s it.

That’s exactly what I’ll do.

And just as I slip inside the Arby’s, he turns and says “Hey, Marsha”!!

He saw AND recognized me!!!

Oh the humanity!

I immediately started fasting and praying that God would call me home to Glory but seeing as God likes a good chuckle as much as I do, He let me struggle on!

Of course, I tried to cough and sniffle as much as possible to make sure that Doogie-Preacher knew that I was afflicted with a sickness and would NEVER go out in the public looking like this otherwise.

I’m not sure he bought it.

I do worry for his kids who were with him, though.

They may need a bit of the therapy to get rid of the nightmares.

Then the most amazing thing happened.

Just as the preacher was finishing up his order, he made a corny joke.

Like really corny.

I chuckled.

It was funny.

The teenager behind the counter looked at him like he had two heads!!!

I guess he’s not that young after all.  :-)




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