Stay Calm and Call the Doctor

Published May 19, 2015 by marshaz333

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The confession.

I hadn’t been dating the Mr. very long (ok, he wasn’t the Mr. then, just the Guy) and in a moment of stupidity, I confessed to him that I had never seen any of the Star Wars movies all the way through.

It seemed like such a little thing.

But it wasn’t.

Not by a long shot!

From that day forward, the Mr. has made it his mission to enlighten me to all things Sci-fi.

Over the last 17 years, I have seen every Star Wars movie, every episode of every incarnation of Star Trek as well as every Star Trek movie.

I’ve seen all of the Stargates, Battlestar Galacticas, every Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies, and more alien shows & movies than I care to recount.

I even know who Cohaagen is and why he needs to give them air!

It’s taken awhile but my love for the Mr. has turned into a serious like for some of the entertainment I once made fun of.

The most surprising, though, has been my love of Doctor Who in general and the 10th Doctor in particular.

Granted, I only started watching with the 9th Doctor but when David Tennant took over as the 10th, well, pardon me, but he’s a cutie!!


That’s why when the Mr. and I stumbled upon a memorabilia shop in Pigeon Forge a few weeks ago, I wound up with the best souvenir ever.

A life size cardboard cutout of the 10th Doctor!

I know what you must be thinking.

And it’s true.

The Mr. has officially turned me into a nerd!!

But after we discovered what fun we could have with Doctor #10, it is definitely well worth the moniker.

The first thing we did was set him up in my office.

He looks good there but when Taj saw him, he started barking his head off and, of course, the Mr. had to make Taj believe that the Doctor was going to get him. It was pretty funny.

Then this past weekend, Shelby came for a visit.

The Mr. picked her up and when they got to the house, Shelby took her stuff up to her room.

Her room that is also my office.

Her room that is now guarded by Doctor Who!

She walked around the corner and screamed bloody murder!!!

Then it was ON!!!

That night (or rather early in the morning) we all headed to bed. Shelby to her room, the Mr. and Taj to our room and me and Shadow to the couch.

FYI, Shadow has been banished from the bedroom until he is no longer a pee-pee boy so we sleep downstairs.

It’s a long story.

But most of mine are! :-)

I had just dozed off when I heard Taj barking like crazy.

I go to the bottom of the stairs and called for him but he just barked. I could tell he was in the Sheep Room (yes, I have a sheep room!) but he wouldn’t come to me. Sometimes he goes in there to roll around on the berber carpet and the door closes behind him and he gets trapped.

I’m not sure why the door closes but we think it’s the ghost of the old lady who lived there before us.

I start to go up to release Taj from the trap when he comes flinging down the stairs like the devil himself is chasing him.

What in this world???

He was scared to death.

We go back to sleep and early the next morning (or rather the same morning), the Mr. comes down and tells me that Shelby had put the Doctor in the Sheep Room and had scared him when he got up.

THAT’S what Taj was barking at!

Now it makes sense!!!

A few minutes later I hear a blood curdling scream from upstairs!

Then I hear the Mr. laughing.

He had put the Doctor right outside Shelby’s door so when she opened it, there he was!!

Who knew that Doctor Who could be so fun????

Well, the weekend flew by in a flash and Sunday evening we took Shelby back home. We came home and watched a little TV then decided we were so exhausted that we better go on to bed.

The Mr. went on up and I took care of the dogs then trudged up to get my stuff for the couch. On my way up, I decided to check to see what Shelby left behind. She always leaves SOMETHING! :-)

I didn’t see anything.

No clothes.

No jewelry.

Not even the Doctor.

Hmmm……where is that goomer???

So I go to the Sheep Room.

No Doctor.


He’s somewhere.

Waiting for me!

I checked the Mr.’s bathroom (especially behind the shower curtain).

No Doctor.

I checked my bathroom (especially the shower stall).

No Doctor.

The Mr. said, “Are you looking for the Doctor?”

“Yep, he’s somewhere. Waiting.”

I checked the Mr.’s closet.

No Doctor.

So I opened my closet door……….



Giant Stinkers, Helicopters and an Actual Giant

Published April 22, 2015 by marshaz333

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been a little lax in the blogging department and I do sincerely apologize.

The thing is, most of the time I write these in my head early in the morning or late at night and then I either forget to actually post them to the interweb or, in my old age, I think I’ve already done it!!

So it got me thinking about some things I was going to write about and I remembered promising a post about giant stinkers.

And then I didn’t do it.

And who among us wouldn’t want to read about giant stinkers?????

For the past few years, we’ve noticed an abundance of mosquitoes in our backyard.

Like, they are THICK!!

We’ve checked and double-checked for standing water and just couldn’t find any.

Until the Mr. decided it was time to clean the gutters.

I would never have thought to clean the gutters because frankly they are too high up for me to notice.

Or clean.

So that good ole Mr. climbed up to have a look-see and, lo AND behold, those suckers were FULL.

Full of water and helicopters!

You know the ones I mean.


We have a big ole maple tree in our yard and it’s been tossing helicopters at us for years and those guys were clogging up the gutters and causing all kinds of problems.

Well, that Mr. got out his new pressure washer (he has since pressure washed EVERYTHING!!) and got to work shooting that clog out of the gutters.

And out it came.

Down the spout and onto the ground.

And do you know what decomposing helicopters look like?

Well, I’d be glad to tell you but I’m starting to gag at the memory so I’ll let you use your imagination.

Suffice it to say the goo that came out was blacker than pitch and quite chunky!

And do you know what decomposing helicopters smell like????



The only one at our house who wasn’t totally grossed out was Taj. He tried every way in this world to roll around in that nasty pile.

I don’t know where he learned such a thing.

It’s almost like he’s a dog.

Anyway, once the Mr. was done and the gutters were nice and cleaned out, do you know where those mosquitoes ended up for the summer?


Because apparently, the Mr. and I taste delicious!!

Giant stinkers got me thinking about an encounter with an ACTUAL giant. And I hope I haven’t already shared this. I’ve started to many times but I think (I THINK) I haven’t done it yet.

So in honor of my friend Cara Sue’s birthday….

Her 50th birthday…..

As in……….she’s FIFTY……

I thought I’d share this story about her and the day she was trapped by a giant.

(Cara, you’re welcome!) :-)

When we were in high school, lo these many years ago, there was a fella named Terry (I think) and he was a football player. He was HUGE!!!

And they called him Sasquatch.


One day my friend Cara was walking down the hall between classes and it was very crowded. People were everywhere.

Now, if you’re petite, then you know exactly what I’m saying here but let me tell the rest of you Amazon people that when you can’t see above the crowd, you’ve got to just weave in and out of folks as best you can. The bad part is that most of the time, the Talls can’t see you and your weaving.

And that’s what happened to Cara.

As she, Miss 4’11”, was bobbing and weaving passed Sasquatch and his gargantuan friends, he lowered his arm and there was my little friend.


In the armpit of Sasquatch.

I’m not sure how long she was trapped there but I don’t think Sasquatch ever noticed she was there and eventually released her to scurry on her way.

So let that be a lesson to all of you out there who are 5’ tall or less……..always watch out for Bigfoot when navigating a crowded hallway.

And also…………happy 50th birthday, Cara Sue!!


Calgon Take Me Away

Published April 17, 2015 by marshaz333

Have you ever had one of those days?

You know the ones.

The ones where you would have been better off to just snuggle down in those covers and sleep the day away?

Well, that’s exactly what I should have done today.

It started out like every other work day.

I hauled myself up out of a deep sleep to let the dogs out.

Yes, I said dogs.

As in more than one.

For those of you who don’t know, we added to our family a few months ago.

You remember Shadow, the dog I spent MONTHS begging the Mr. for?

Well, it’s a long story but let me just say:

We got a new dog.

His name is Shadow.

{Ok, I guess it’s not that long a story!}

Anywho, I let the dogs out, answering the age-old question of “who” and by the time I got them fed, medicated (Shadow) and cheesed (both), I was a smidge on the tardy side.

Of course, that didn’t stop me from laying back down on the bed for a “minute”.

I eventually, after many minutes, got myself back up and started getting ready for work.

Let me pause right here to bring you up to speed on a couple of riveting things:

1. Since Shadow has come into our lives, the days of morning showers are long gone! That cutie guy wakes me up at such odd times, I can’t get on a schedule so I’ve just switched to night showers. It works pretty well except for the hair.

2. A while back I finally got fed up with the shaggy mane that is my hair and had Christi just cut it all off!!! I told her I needed to be able to wash it at night and she said “no problem, just wet it the next morning, dry & style it”.


That has YET to happen.

Yes, I’ve washed it.

Yes, I’ve dried it.

But oh, no, I have not even THOUGHT about wetting it the next morning.

I just go with whatever wild thing I wake up with.

And that brings us to this morning.

When I sat down at the dressing table to work on this head, it became obvious that a family of muskrats had made a nest in my hair.

I think it was Suzy and Sam.

That hair was WILD and was sticking up every which way.

So I curled and sprayed and waxed and sprayed and curled some more and finally got it in some semblance of order. Though I’m afraid the back still shows signs of a rodent party.

By the time I did all that, brushed my teeth, put on my shoes and grabbed my purse, I was really running late.

And now the dogs are barking.

Well, actually, only one barks.

The other honks.

And the more Taj barks, the more Shadow honks.

It can be quite deafening.

So I race to the laundry room and set the security alarm.

Now I have 60 seconds to get out the door before the alarm sounds.

I hurry to the garage door and pull.

And tug.

And pull.

And tug.

That silly door has swollen so much, that my little noodle arms can’t get it open.

FINALLY, it opens and out runs Shadow!!

Right into the garage.

Now, I’ve got Bob Barker behind me, mad because he thinks his brother is going for a ride.

I’ve got Honky McHonker running all around the garage thinking he’s going for a ride.

And time is ticking down on that crazy alarm!!!


That was it.

That was my cue.

That’s where I should have hit the sheets.

Instead, I shut off the alarm, convinced Shadow to come back in the house and we started all over.

This time I was able to use my big ole purse to block that slippery little devil from getting out the door.

Or course, the whole time it’s BARK, BARK, BARK, HONK, HONK, HONK…………

I shoulda stayed in bed.



Love Hurts

Published February 11, 2015 by marshaz333


Have you ever said something and as soon as the words come out of your mouth, you wish you could take them back?


Just me???

Sadly, I do this more than I’d like to admit.

And last night was no exception.

If I’d only taken the time to think it out in my head before I let those words fly out.

If only I’d kept my thoughts to myself.

If only I had remembered what Dad had tried to instill in me.

I knew better.

I was taught better.

But there it was.

Out there.

Feelings were hurt.

Remorse set in.

I’ve replayed it over and over again, knowing full well that I am a disappointment to my raisin’.

Maybe it was the pain from a mouth covered in fever blisters.

Maybe it was the sore nose that is apparently gearing up to replace Rudolph next Christmas.

Maybe it was the headache that started in my actual eye socket.

Maybe it was the lateness of the hour.

Whatever made me do it, I swore right then and there that I would never let it happen again.

Never again will I allow my mouth to get ahead of my brain.

Never again will I give the Mr. the opportunity to out-McLean me.

Because, my friends, he JUMPED on it!!!

In my hour of weakness, I innocently and without thinking said these words to the Mr. just as we were going to bed last night:

“My face hurts”.

That’s when my sweet, loving, caring, precious husband said, without a moment’s hesitation:

“Yeah, it’s hurting me too”.

He’s been in the family too long!


Pride Goeth Before A Fall…..

Published December 22, 2014 by marshaz333

It’s Christmas Week!!


This year I am determined to be organized and ready to thoroughly enjoy time with family and friends.

Plus I’m super excited to see what Santa is bringing me!! :-)

I had 2 goals for the weekend…..

1.  Finish wrapping all the presents; and

2.  Get my grocery shopping done.

The first goal was pretty easy. I got everything wrapped and under the tree and even re-wrapped Shelby’s gift that Taj had angrily unwrapped last week. Silly dog!

The big challenge was Kroger.

Now, normally I detest the grocery.

I hate the planning, the list, the driving to and from, the shopping and loading and unloading of the car. And after all that, I get to look forward to the putting away of all the stuff.

Not my idea of a fun day!

But I knew that Sunday would be the worst Kroger day of them all.

Because I knew that everyone in this town would be getting their Christmas grocery shopping done on this same day at the same time.

I even warned the Mr. that I could be gone for HOURS!

And sure enough, the parking lot was full.

I tried to snag a cart from the lot to save time in the store (Belle taught me that trick!) but there were none.

I went in the store and there were TWO carts.


Not a good sign.

I quickly went up and down each aisle, grabbing the stuff on my list.

I was feeling pretty good about myself.

I was getting this DONE!!

Then I turned the corner on the baking aisle.

Oh my goomy-gosh!!!

It was like an obstacle course, full of people, carts and PEOPLE!

So I hiked up my big-girl-britches and pushed my way into the crowd.

Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me……….

And that’s where I ran into my first problem.

I’m not sure exactly who designed grocery stores or who decided what items go on which shelves, or even how deep those shelves need to be but I’m pretty confident that it was a taller-than-average GIANT.

I needed some Bisquick.

Well, apparently so did everybody else in Frankfort because there were only a few left.

A few.

On the top shelf.

Pushed all the way to the back!


I looked around and didn’t see anyone who I deemed tall enough to reach that silly Bisquick.

Then I spotted her.

Coming up the aisle was a young girl who stood head and shoulders above the crowd.

Putting on my most pathetic short-girl face, I asked this amazon-child if she would be so kind as to get me one of those Bisquicks down. She so nicely climbed up the shelves and got me one.

As I’m thanking her, I hear a lady behind me say “Would you mind grabbing me two of those?”.

Sure enough, a line of short little ladies was forming behind me.

I hope that girl wasn’t stuck too long in the Bisquick section!!


I finally got out of that store with most of my sanity in place, though there was a tense moment when I couldn’t find the cocoa and a nice lady helped talk me through where it might be.

Kroger is so fun!

I got home with all my purchases, the Mr. helped carry it all in and I began the task of finding a place for it all.

In no time, I had it all put away and even organized all the items I bought for making various and sundry dishes to take to the Christmas goings-on this week. I’ve got all the non-refrigerated items in bags according to the recipes and stored in another room. This will ensure that the Mr. doesn’t dip into any of the goodies that aren’t for plain guzzlin’.

By the time I went to bed last night, I was feeling as proud as a peacock at how “READY” I am for this week.

Gifts are wrapped, groceries are purchased, and I only have to work 2 days this week.

I could not be more proud of myself.


It’s a dangerous thing.

Just when you feel you’ve got life all together, you forget one little thing.

One little important thing.

Something like setting the alarm clock.

I heard Taj snorting around this morning and prayed that he would go back to sleep “until the alarm goes off”.

{I pray this a lot.}

Thank the good Lord that Taj didn’t go back to sleep.

No, instead he climbed up in the bed with us and started rolling around and even barked a little bark to wake me up.

I finally stirred and looked at the clock.



I overslept!!!

By fourteen minutes!!!!!

I jumped up, got in the shower and I’ve been at a dead run ever since.

Well, maybe not a run.

I did take a minutes or two to lay back down after my shower.

Getting ready for work can be exhausting!!!

Oh well, so much for being ready and organized.

What would I do without my little Taj-y?????

Probably still be asleep, that’s what!!

Merry Christmas, ya’ll.



Things That Go Bump In The Night

Published December 2, 2014 by marshaz333

I have been accused in the past of “embellishing” some of my stories and while I do try to put a humorous spin on these tales, let me assure you that there is no embellishment.

I stand behind each and every, well, most of these yarns.

But today, I’m just going to give the facts.

Just the facts.

You can draw your own conclusions.

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, the Mr., Taj & I traveled to the Great White North (aka NY).  We had a great and relaxing time visiting with the kids and the rest of the family.  We even got to have a fun pizza and wings night with the Fierce’s.

It was lots of fun.

We ate and laughed and talked and ate and napped and ate and ate some more.

I think Taj doubled in size from turkey alone!!

{Ok……….maybe that was a bit of an embellishment!}

But something happened to me on Thursday that I cannot explain.

Up in the afternoon, I went upstairs to plug in my cell phone and to go to the potty.

{Sorry, but that’s relevant to the story.}

Before going into the bathroom, I took off my big ole ring and laid it on the middle of the white table in our room.

Right in the middle.

Not on the edge.

When I came back in the room, the ring was gone.

My first thought was that it rolled toward the back part of the table so I moved things and looked for it.


It was gone.

Then I thought………yep……..someone is messing with me.

I’m pretty gullible and Andrew LOVES to get me so I figured he had snuck up the stairs and nabbed the ring.

Then in true Mish fashion, a random thought entered my head.

It happens a lot.

Kinda like a dog with a squirrel.

Anyway, I thought “hair clip”.

I remembered that I had left my only hair clip on the bathroom sink that very morning and wanted to grab it before it got knocked into the trash or toilet or something.

So I turned around, walked into the bathroom and came straight back to the bedroom.

Maybe took me a second.

And, lo and BE-hold, there was that ring!!

Right where I had left it!!!!!

Middle of the table.

Not against anything else.

Not near the edge.






I thought that whoever was messing with me had hidden away and when I left the room, put the ring back.   And now they are back in their hiding place.

Pretty sneaky.

But the only person at the house who is small enough to hide so quickly was my niece, Sarah.

She must be pulling a prank on her old aunt.

I know I didn’t hear her on the stairs so she must still be hiding.

I put my ring back on, turned off the light and hurried down the stairs.

As I came around the stairs into the dining room I see her.


In the kitchen.

On the floor.

Playing with Taj.

With about 10 people between her and me.

There is NO WAY she got down the stairs and into the kitchen that fast without me hearing her.


So who was it?

We may never know but the Mr. has a theory.

He believes it must be a ghost who likes “gaudy” jewelry!!

Not sure who he was trying to insult…….

….Me or the ghost!!!




One of Those Days

Published November 25, 2014 by marshaz333

You know how some days you just feel good about yourself?

Those days when your hair cooperates.

Those days when all your clothes fit just right.

Those days when you just feel good.

Today is not one of those days!!!

Today is the day when I go home for lunch after walking around the office all day, unaware, and the Mr. says “What’s that on your shirt?”.

That’s when I find out that the “water spot” on my shirt from brushing my teeth this morning is really a giant grease stain that not only didn’t come out in the wash but has now been seared into the fabric through the magic of the dryer.

It’s a forever spot on my weekly purple shirt.

This is why I should never eat, drink or cook while wearing my be-seen-out-in-the-public clothes.






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