With the Greatest of Ease

While we were living in NY, my family found that we had a talent for entertaining that would put Cirque du Soleil to shame. 

Apparently, we have a hard time walking across the floor without getting hurt!!!

It all started with Andrew:

Both our boys were on the high school track team and they both did the pole vault, which scared me each and every time they took off running with that giant stick and threw themselves into the air!  I would always hold my breath! 

One day Andrew was practicing at the school with his coach/uncle and somehow miscalculated the run, the jump, or something and landed on the wrong side of the mat!!! 

Needless to say, bones were broken.  Unfortunately this was near the end of the season in his senior year and thus ended his track career.  It also hampered his Senior Trip to an amusement/water park.  Poor guy!!

Just a few short weeks later, the Mr. was coming down the stairs and somehow got his shoe caught and did a triple flip in midair and landed at the bottom of the stairs with his backside slamming into the window, causing the glass to break and scatter across the front porch. 

Had this been an Olympic year, he would have brought home the gold!!

Not long after that, I hopped up from my chair to get something (probably a snack!) and got my foot caught on my laptop cord which tripped me as I pulled it out of the laptop (thank the Lord the cord came out and didn’t pull the laptop to the ground!!).  But while I was trying to stop myself from plowing head first into our new flatscreen TV, I stepped FULL WEIGHT on the end of the cord with my heel!!!  OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Did I mention that I did my best Hippo Ballerina move????  It was lovely!

Fast forward a few months:

I was putting the dog into his bed for the night.  At this time we locked the poor little guy in the half-bath and he HATED it!!!!  So while I’m getting him set up, Andrew tells me that he’s putting up the baby gate but I didn’t hear him.  I was probably apologizing to my poor baby for locking him up.

Anyway, I back out of the bathroom, turn around and walk right into that gate!!! 

Let me rephrase, I fell right OVER that gate!!!!  No ballerina moves here, folks!!!  Down came the gate AND the Mish!!!  Well, that sonic boom got the Mr.’s attention and he came to my rescue!  Of course, when he realized I was ok, he had quite the chuckle.  I, on the other hand, had no such chuckle.

So that’s when our town changed the signage on the outskirts of town:

Welcome to Silver Creek……………Home of the Flying Zolnowski’s

Wonder what hidden talents we’ll discover in KY??????

I hope it’s something less painful.



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