Foul Fowl

When the Mr. and I first got married, he owned some rental property.  Now for those of you who know the Mr., you may be surprised at that because he is such a non-confrontational guy and one of the things he hated the most was collecting the rent.  It could be quite a hassle.  It seemed like every month the various tenants had an “issue” with paying the rent. 

The “issue” being that they didn’t want to!!

And it didn’t matter who lived there!  They ALL had that issue!!

Until the last guy. 

Michael is the boy’s uncle on their mom’s side.  Even though I claim them as my own, I didn’t actually “birth” them.  But sometimes they (Andrew especially) are so much like me you’d swear I did!!

But I digress.

So Michael moved in and all was right with the world!!   He was a great friend to the boys and to the Mr. and such a sweetheart to me.   Still is.

And he paid his bloomin’ rent!!!  What a novel idea!

So we were all tickled pink with the living arrangements:  we lived in the front apartment and Michael lived in the back, which made it very convenient for the Mr. to have LAN parties!!  Just run a cable from one apartment to the other and presto……….GEEKVILLE!!!

Did I mention that not only is the Mr. in technology but so is Michael and BOTH our boys?  Its no wonder that I eventually was assimilated to the wonderful world of Star Trek!  Resistance is futile!

But again, I digress.

Michael had but one flaw.  BIRDS!

Michael had birds!!!  Two of ‘em!

Now normally I could just avoid the birds.  Until one fateful day!!

The Mr. and I decided to get new carpet for both units.  So one day, while Michael was at work, the Mr. asked me to come along to measure for the new carpet.

As I approached the door, I inquired of the birds.  The Mr. assured me that I would be safe as Michael clips the bird’s wings and they can’t fly. 

So I be-bop on into the apartment and I’m holding the end of the tape measure (the Mr. won’t let me hold the end with the numbers ’cause I don’t know what the little hash marks mean!  I DON’T DO MATH!!) 

When all of a sudden one of those evil, blood-thirsty, beady-eyed monsters flies right toward my head!!!

My life flashed before my eyes!!! 

I screamed as if someone had hacked off my right arm and immediately dove onto Michael’s couch and curled into the fetal position!!!

Once the Mr. stopped laughing enough to help me up, he escorted me to the door, declaring that he could finish the job alone!

 I have forever been traumatized.

I was lucky to escape that place with my life.



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