Archive | June 2012

Run, Mish! Run for your life!!

I don’t run.

Not at all.

Ever.

Unless a bad guy is chasing me.

Or if I’m chasing a turkey!

Back in the spring when we still lived at my parent’s house, the neighbor’s daggone turkey was up on Mom’s porch and she was fit to be tied.

Mom, not the turkey!

I mean, that turkey was looking IN at us!  Weirdest thing I ever saw!

So Mom went out to chase it away.  But that silly turkey was not to be deterred and back up on the porch he came.

Not to be outdone by a turkey, Mom snuck out the other door and when she next appeared, she was running out of the garage with a broom which she then threw at that bird like she was an Olympic Javelin Champion!!! 

I said “like” a champion; that broom didn’t even come close to hitting that turkey.  Not even a bronze medal for Mom!  Sorry!

So Dad took his turn!  He chased that turkey with the broom and made contact a couple of times but once we all got back settled in front of the TV, there was that crazy turkey peeking in at us.

Now it was MY turn!  I put Taj on the lease and out we went.

Taj was hot on that turkey’s trail and all I could do was try to keep up!  Taj ran as hard as he could with the albatross he was tethered to and out to the back fence we chased that turkey!  All the while hearing Mom and Dad laughing like hyenas!

By the time we got the turkey back across the creek, I was exhausted!!  I was running full out as hard as my little Pikachu legs would carry me.  Taj and I paced across the back of the property as if to make sure the turkey didn’t come back but really it was so that the spots I was seeing could disappear and I could get my pulse rate back down in the 100’s.  Then we made the walk back to the house.

I was so proud of my efforts and you know the first thing Dad said to me?

“That was the slowest run I’ve ever seen!”

I guess its all about your perspective.

I saw this on my cousin’s blog (Jessica Chronicled) and just had to share it:

jessicachronicled.blogspot.com

I sometimes wish I could run but it just exerts way too much energy and I’m pretty sure I’m opposed to that. 

~Mish~

The Apocalypse, Jesus and Baseball

Last night the Mr. and I went to watch Belle play her last baseball game of the summer.  If you’ve never had the experience of watching a bunch of 7 & 8 year olds playing ball, you have missed out!!  What a hoot!!

Our little Izzy G played great!  There were even some adults in the stands saying that if they gave out an MVP award, it should go to Belle!!  Of course, I let them know that I taught her everything she knows!  🙂

After the awesome game, which Belle’s team won 14-2, a bunch of the parents (and me & the Mr.) made a tunnel for the team to run through while we cheered.  They thought they were big stuff!!!

I can’t even begin to count all of the adults who came by to tell Belle what a good job she did and what a good ball player she is.  Man, were our chicken tops swelling!!!  So proud of that girl.  Of course, she took it all in stride and was cool as a cucumber. 

Next stop………..DQ!

I know, we’re supposed to be watching what we eat!

And we did!

I watched the Mr. eat a Blizzard and he watched me eat a Blizzard!

So we’re sitting around talking about the ballgame and everything else we could think of, when Belle suddenly says, “Some people say the world is going to end this year.”  I told her that those people apparently don’t read the Bible and the Mr. shared the scripture about no man knowing the hour when the Lord will come back. 

Belle then said, “Maybe Jesus will come back this year.  That’ll be fun!!”

So precious!!  We all agreed that that would indeed be fun when her little eyes lit up and she just laid us all out flat………..“Maybe we could play baseball; Aunt Mish will be on my team.” 

I asked her, “What about Jesus?”  Then she really cheered, “Jesus is on our team!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

Yep, that girl’s got it all figured out!

If I’m gonna play baseball, I DEFINITELY want Jesus on my team!  🙂

~Mish~

Ten Years And Counting

Friday was our 10th wedding anniversary.

Can you believe it? 

TEN YEARS!!

And we both lived to tell about it!

Amazing!

Ten years ago we got married at my parent’s farm in Shelby County and then went to Pigeon Forge, TN for our honeymoon.  I had been to Pigeon Forge many times but it was a first for the Mr.

We had spent hours looking at various cabins rentals online, he in NY and I in KY, until we finally agreed on a cabin called A Smoky Mountain Rose.  Sounds romantic, right?

We actually got hitched at around 11:00 in the morning (who wants to go all day without seeing each other???  Not us!) so we left in the late afternoon for the drive down to TN. 

I explained to the Mr. that those mountain roads would be very narrow and curvy and I strongly suggested that we stop and eat some supper before we head up the mountain. 

But the Mr. said let’s just keep on going and so we did.

As we got closer I again stressed that we should stop and eat or else we wouldn’t want to come back down the mountain in the dark but no way…..keep on going!!

Now for those who know me, you know that when I say I “suggested” or “stressed” to the Mr. that what I actually was doing was NAGGING!!!

Yes, it’s true.  Within hours of tying the knot, I was already nagging my new husband.  But not only nagging, I was full out whining and complaining and griping!!

It was not pretty.  Not pretty at all.

So with me pouting in the first seat, we finally make it up to the top of this mountain and its getting dark fast.  We decide to go in and look around before carrying in our bags so we walk to the door of our cabin with me grumbling not so under my breath about the fact that we’re starving and now we have to go back down the mountain in the dark.

Then the Mr. opens the door.

There in the dining area is the most beautifully set table with candles and flowers and sparkling grape juice on ice.  Lovely!

That tricky Mr. had arranged for a nice meal to be at the cabin for us on our first night as husband and shrew…….I mean wife!!!

Isn’t he just the cutest????

And there is his new bride feeling about as low as you can get!! 

But we had a lovely meal and the Mr., being the awesome man that he is, forgave me my trespasses; though he has shared this story many, MANY  times over the last 10 years.   I don’t come out lookin’ so good in this tale!!!

Oh well.  I gotta be me, I reckon!

~Mish~

Old Folks, Egg Goo & Ancient Drawers

The Mr. and I are officially old. 

I don’t know when it happened because mostly we feel like teenagers but our bodies betray us time and again.  Last night was one of those nights. 

There was absolutely nothing on TV that interested us and we were both so tired that we decided to go up to bed about 8:45.

I know!!! 

It was still daylight!!! 

Poor Taj was so confused.  But old people can be confusing sometimes.

We watched one of our shows (Roswell) on Netflix and lights were out by a little after 10:00.  I don’t know the last time we went to bed that early but it was AWESOME!

Until about 4:15. 

That’s when I, in true old folk fashion, fell awake.  I didn’t actually fall, but I figure if you can fall asleep why not fall awake???  Makes sense.

But after a wobbly trip to the bathroom, I was able to go back to sleep until the alarm went off at 6:00.  I have to say that I feel MUCH better today after a good sleep.

So with our new food plan, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen.  And by a lot I mean HOURS at a time.  Since the Mr. & I both work, I have to get our lunch and both snacks ready and packed up the night before.  That’s getting old fast!  But we’re doing pretty good so far and I haven’t killed, maimed or ripped anyone’s head off in a caffeine-deprived frenzy so that’s success!

The mornings are pretty tough for me because not only is my body SCREAMING for a Mt. Dew, I have to fix breakfast for both of us.  The Mr. always eats his breakfast before work but I take mine with me and eat at the office. 

So there I was, making myself an omelet at 6:30 in the morning.  That just seems like it should be against some law.  I’ll have to look into that.

I got all my bowls and ingredients ready and got the skillet heating up then I cracked the first egg.  No problem.  I crack the second egg and out shoots the egg goo all over my nightgown!!!  GROSS! 

Just proves my point that cooking at that time of day is all kinds of wrong!

But before the exploding egg incident, I had a mishap with my underpants. 

I feel I should warn you that if your prone to nightmares, you may want to skip this true story.  And I apologize in advance for the disturbing mental image this story may conjure up!

When the alarm went off this morning, I didn’t hop out of bed.  I’m not a hopper.  So when I realized that I was starting to fall back asleep, I decided I better get a move on; I needed a shower, had to feed Taj and take him out, plus I had to make two breakfasts.  I stumbled over to the dresser in the dark and grabbed a pair of drawers.  For any Yankees reading this, “drawers” is a Southern name for “underwear”. 

After my shower, I’m getting my clothes on and realize that these drawers are from by-gone days when my rear was much smaller.  MUCH smaller. 

Why do I hang on to such things? 

Were they expensive Victoria’s Secret drawers? 

Why, no they were not!  They were cotton granny-panties that come 6 in a pack from Wal-Mart!!!  I have no earthy idea why they were still in the dresser except that maybe I live in a state of denial and thought I could still wear them.

So after getting them on, I quickly realize that there is no way I can go through the whole day with these things on!  Not only was I getting the wedgie of a lifetime but I was beginning to lose feeling in my legs!!! 

I  immediately start looking for the jaws-of- life to get me out of this trap. 

I finally was free and do you know what I did with those ancient drawers? 

Did I throw them away? 

No ma’am!

Back in the dresser.

I may fit into them one day!  🙂

~Mish~

We Are On A Journey

Today the Mr. and I embark on a new journey.  No, we’re not actually going anywhere but we are trying a new “diet”. 

I know, I know, been there, done that!  So have we.  But Molly & Steve started this so we thought, “Why not?  Let’s jump on their bandwagon!”

Of course, who could have known their bandwagon was so expensive!!!

But, after taking out a second mortgage at Kroger, we’re trudging ahead.

So far today, I’ve had a delicious spicy cheese omelet with tomatoes for breakfast and I just finished my mid-morning snack of cantaloupe.  It was quite good.  And I’ve got chicken and peppers waiting at home in the fridge for lunch.  I made it last night and it smelled yummy!!!  Can’t wait.

But now, the bad news:

According to this apparent food Nazi, there are no soft drinks allowed.

Did you get that??

NO SOFT DRINKS ALLOWED.

NONE.

NADA.

No Diet Coke.

No Mt. Dew.

NOTHING!!!!

What’s an addict to do???

I’ve had so much water this morning that I’m just about to drown.  Of course, I can have green tea if I want but YUCK!!  And I don’t drink coffee so….water, it is!!!

**WARNING:  If I happen to see you over the next couple of weeks and I manage to rip your head right off, I don’t mean it!!  I’m really a nice person.  Really.  Just a bit nicer with caffeine!

I sure hope aspirin are allowed cause I’m eating ’em like Tic Tacs.

~Mish~

What is that smell???

I smell a smell.

It’s a smelly smell.

A smelly smell of something that smells smelly.

And it’s in my fridge!!!

How did it get there???

Maybe from the strawberries that had been there since Dad’s birthday on May 18.

Maybe from the egg salad I fixed on Monday and stuck back in without a covering.

Maybe from the beans I put in there over a month ago which developed a nice fuzzy coat. 

Maybe.

But no, all those things I threw out days ago.

Plus, I put in a box of baking soda.

Maybe something’s hiding under the mountain of cheese in the bottom drawer.

I have a cheese problem.

And I have an odor problem.

I need help.

~Mish~