To Eat or Not to Eat

Have you ever had a “Fierce” weekend?


Well, let me tell you, it’s not something you recover from easily! Especially at this age!

But I think I’m bouncing back pretty good so I thought I’d share with you today about the difficulties in my life.

I realize that we all have issues and I don’t want to discount anything you may be facing in your life but I’ve had a traumatic food weekend.

You would think that when a girl gets to be as old as I am, preparing/ordering food would be second-nature.

Well, let me just tell you, it’s not!!!

Actually, I think I did my part pretty good. It’s everybody else that just can’t get it right.

I got an e-mail from Pizza Hut last Wednesday night about…….

No, let me back up a little.

Before Fierce Fest 2012, I had gone to Kroger and basically bought out all the junk food that I could get in my cart. Chips, dips, pop, cookies; I had it all. I even got bacon for that certain someone who shall remain nameless but who loves bacon most of all. Right, Andrew?????

But when the Fierce’s had gone, the cupboards were bare.

No, that’s entirely true. There was food………I just didn’t want to be the guy who had to cook it! So life resumed with my lazy bones avoiding the kitchen at all costs.

By Wednesday, it became clear that a trip to the store was inevitable. We were in a crisis. A situation had developed that called for immediate attention. We were out of toilet paper!! Now I can do without many things in life but toilet paper is not one of them.

I planned to go to store right after work on Wednesday. I really did. But it rained. Actually it stormed. Right when the Mr. picked me up from work. Who wants to shop in the rain? Certainly not me!

So I had gotten an e-mail that day from Pizza Hut (Remember? I think I mentioned this before) about a deal of 2 medium pizzas, breadsticks, and a side dish (we like chicken wings) for $19.99. Seems like a sign to me! What’s a girl to do but stick a box of Kleenex in the bathroom and order up some pizza!!

Since I married into a bunch of computer geeks (and we are proud of it!) I fired up my computer to order our food online. Very convenient, plus I can pay with a credit card since I never have any cash. I place the order at 6:33 and get a confirmation that the pizza will be delivered at 8:42.

That’s right!! 8:42!!!

Are you kidding me????

So I call up the Hut and ask if that is correct. The girl assured me that it was since EVERYONE orders pizza when it rains.

Did you know that???


Then apparently you are the only person who doesn’t order pizza in the rain! Good for you!!!

Well, I just informed that girl in my most perfect Me-maw tone that I was cancelling my order since we are not waiting 2 hours to get our food.

She didn’t care. Shocking, right?!?!?!?!?!?!

Of course, I apparently have no problem going out to eat in the rain. Just not to the store for TP!! We went to Aranda’s which was surprisingly not very busy. I guess everyone stayed home and ordered pizza.

Thursday. Thursday was the big trip to the store for TP. Except the Mr. had to work late and didn’t get home until 7:30 so by the time we ate, it was too late to go to the store.

But never fear!!! Friday I restocked the toilet paper and all is right with the world. Until Sunday………………..

Sunday I went to Kroger for my weekly grocery shopping. I didn’t need TP but I needed everything else. After spending $250 on food, I went home and asked the Mr. if he wanted to order Chinese. I know. I’m sad!

I called up the Asian Buffet and placed my order. They have the best Black Pepper Chicken (the best, Jerry, the best!) and the Mr. wanted Kung Pao Chicken (George likes his chicken spicy!).

We planned to watch a movie while we ate so I got everything ready so that as soon as our food came, we could sit in the living room and watch our movie and eat Chinese food. Life is good.

The food comes, I unpack it all. The Mr.’s looked great and mine looked………well, it didn’t look like Black Pepper Chicken. That’s cause it WASN’T Black Pepper Chicken!!! It was some broccoli and rubber chicken dish!

Well, this will never do!!!

I called up the Asian Buffet and did a “Who’s On First” with the Asian lady who answered the phone. I don’t mean that to be rude but I’m sure she is telling someone how she talked to some big ole hick so it’s fine. Me and the lady are not offended.

I finally get it straightened out and she assures me that the guy will bring me the correct order. So we wait.

And we wait.

And we wait.

The Mr. is finished with his food.

I ate my egg roll and soup.

And we wait.

And we wait.

Finally, after an hour goes by, I tell the Mr. that my Black Pepper Chicken is nothing more than a dream and to go ahead and start the movie. I feel like if I get too hungry, I can always gnaw on the rubber chicken. Just as we start the movie, a NASCAR driver pulls sideways into our driveway at about 120 mph and races to the door with my beloved Black Pepper Chicken!!

Now was that so hard?????

Oh, and on Friday we tried the Pizza Hut again (since it was sunny out) and when I went to pick it up, she tried to charge me 50 cents for blue cheese to dip my wings in!!! I told her, again in my best Me-maw tone, that I would have none of it!! I’ll just dip ‘em in whatever sauce I can find at home!

Fifty cents!!! The nerve!!



2 thoughts on “To Eat or Not to Eat

  1. That is TOO funny! Glad somebody else eats out as much as we do! But I have to point out…the Asian Buffet is right beside the Kroger! Your beloved Black Pepper Chicken could’ve been picked up on the way home from the grocery!

  2. Oh, Marsha…’re just crack me up! I also think that eating out is the right thing to do in most situations. Who raised me, right? Keep on blogging b/c I need the laughs.

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