Archive | October 2012

A Lesson For Us All

There’s one thing you must know about the Mr.

He doesn’t like to be interrupted.

Not by me.

Not by the kids.

And certainly not by the dog!!

One night a while back we were having supper and he was telling me about something important from work.  I think it was something about his contract which is also very important to me as it directly effects my shopping/eating.

There’s one thing you must know about Taj.

He doesn’t like when we linger at the table.

Not even if the eating is done.

Not even if we’re finishing the last of an episode of Seinfeld that we’ve only seen 50 times.

Not for nothin’!!

And he will let you know that he’s upset.

He’s got a little dog kinda bark to start with but when he’s ticked off, his bark goes up about 3 octaves and it will bring you right up out of your chair.

We love it.

Yeah, whatever!

Anyway, as the Mr. is telling me his story, Taj starts with the barking.  I gave him some scraps to try to keep him quiet.  But he kept it up.

I know……….it’s the giving of the scraps that got the whole barking thing started.  But that’s an issue for another day.

The Mr. looks at him and tells him to be quiet and continues his story.


The Mr. tells Taj to stop barking (that’s the nice version) and continues.

Bark! Bark!

I reach down to pet the dog hoping to keep him quiet but I’m informed that my babying is part of the problem.

Me?  Baby the dog??  Are you kidding???

So the story continues.

BARK!!  BARK!!!! (<–that’s the sharp one!)

The Mr. has HAD it!!!

I know you all think the Mr. is just a mild mannered man, and he usually is, but enough is a dag-gone ’nuff!!!  He yells at Taj to shut it while I look away so that I’m not accused of babying him.  As if!!!

The next part I didn’t see because, as I said, my head was turned.

The house is dead quiet.

Not a peep could be heard.

All of a sudden I  hear the Mr. say………

“Don’t you be eye-ballin’ me boy!!”

And that’s when I lost it!!!!

I tried to do my Mom’s laugh.

You know the one……no sound but shoulders shaking violently.

Mom uses that one in church!

Sorry Mom!!  🙂

Then, afraid I would pop a gizzard holding it in, I just let it go and had a big ole laughing spell!!!  The Mr. joined in and then it was a free for all!!!  Laughing and barking and general mayhem!!!!

So let that be a lesson to you.

1.  The Mr. and I are suckers for a laugh; and,

b.  Do NOT, under any circumstance,  eye-ball the Mr.!!!!!






When the Mr. and I got married, my sisters (Marti & Molly) and good friends (Paula & Penny) presented the Mr. with a prenuptial agreement at our rehearsal dinner.

I have to give the Mr. credit. The guy is sitting in a crowd of virtual strangers (not his favorite thing to do) in a restaurant that serves buffalo meat (exclusively) about to marry into a wacky Southern Baptist family and now he’s given a very official looking legal document to sign.

How he didn’t run screaming from the building is beyond me.

Now before you wonder how many millions of dollars were at stake, let me assure you that I was flat broke!!

Still am!!

No, this prenup outlined things like how often I would be able to travel to KY for visits, what KY events were essential that I attend and most importantly the duration of my exile to NY.

The agreement made crystal clear that it was expected that the Mr. and I would move to KY in five years. Our youngest, Andrew, would have graduated from high school and we would immediately move, lock, stock and barrel, to the Promised Land.

Over the years, the Mr. has taken some good natured ribbing about his total disregard for the prenup. His excuse? He never actually signed it. Little did he know that with these girls (Penny, Paula, Marti & Molly), his signature was implied!!

Never one to be in a hurry, the Mr. finally kept good on his unsigned promise and last year, after 9 1/2 years in NY, we moved to KY.

Of course, we didn’t have a lock, stock or a barrel but we did have Taj so we’ll count him as stock.

This past Monday we celebrated a year living in KY.

Well, I celebrated; the Mr. may have shed a tear or two! 🙂

But today I have another reason to celebrate……..

This is my 100th post on this here blog!!

Hard to believe that I’ve rambled on this long.

Even harder to believe that anyone actually reads my rambling.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me and I sincerely apologize (with my eyes closed) for the posts that just weren’t funny!

I’m trying!! 🙂



“The Boys of Ball”

It’s my favorite time of year.


I love most everything about fall; the changing leaves, the crisp but not too cold weather, even the smell of fall.

But the one thing I detest about this time of year?


I’m sorry Marcus, but it’s ruining my life!

And by life I mean TV!!!

Since the Mr. and I have but one vehicle, I have to wait about 30-40 minutes every day in the break room for him to pick me up. It’s really not a bad deal. There’s a TV back there and I generally put on TBS and watch an episode of Friends.

But not in October!!!

Oh no!! In October, TBS is filled up with “America’s Favorite Past time”.

Well, MY favorite past time is watching re-runs of old TV shows that I’ve seen so many times that I can say the dialog right along with the characters.

It’s a sickness, really.

And now I’m having withdrawal.

I need to see my Friends.

Never mind that the new TV season has started and I have a DVR box FULL of new shows that I don’t have time to watch.

Never mind that I OWN all but one season of Friends on DVD (hopefully I will be able to complete my collection at Christmas! HINT HINT).

And to make matters worse, I hear that the baseball won’t be over for a few more weeks.

But don’t worry about me (TBS certainly doesn’t!).

I’ll just play my favorite episodes in my head.

And if you see me laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason, just know that I’m visiting with Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Monica, Ross and Phoebe.

It’s all good.  🙂


Election 2012

Like most American’s, I made an attempt to watch the debates last night. I wanted to be “in the know” and be able to discuss intelligently the interaction between the two candidates.

So I watched the first 10 minutes………..

………..and the last 10 minutes.

Oh, yes………I’m an informed voter!!

But in those 20-ish minutes (not counting the time the Mr. and I spent yelling at the TV set!) I did find one comment that intrigued me. This particular candidate may be onto something. Now, I’m not sure enough about what he was talking about to quote him because, let’s face it, I was also checking the Facebook while “watching” the debates. But one of the dudes said something about not giving Big Bird any more federal money.

Now I have nothing against Big Bird.

Other than the fact that he’s a BIG bird (you know how I feel about birds!) but here’s something you may not know about me.

I have a deep, dark secret that I once shared with the Fierce’s and I’ve been criticized, crucified and condemned for it ever since.

But despite all that, I’m gonna share it with all of my loyal reader(s)………

I’m not a Muppet fan!

Not even a little bit.

As in, I HATE the Muppets!!!

I know. It just seems un-American but I can’t help it. I’ve never liked them. Not Cookie Monster, not Big Bird, not Grumpy (or whatever that garbage-can guy’s name is) and not even that silly Elmo.

But the worst of the worst is that frog and that pig!!!!

Those two get on my ever-loving last nerve!!!

The worst Christmas song in recorded history? The Muppets “Twelve Days of Christmas”. Makes me wanna rip my ears off!

Sometimes when the Mr. wants to get me riled up, he’ll start singing “Rainbow Connection” in that Kermit voice and I hit the roof!!! Drives me crazy!

I hope I haven’t pushed any of you away with my true confession but I feel a weight has been lifted by sharing my heart with you.

“It ain’t easy being green”???

Well it ain’t easy seeing Ms. Piggy and not thinking “BACON”!!!!


Morning already????

I’m not a morning person.

I know………..big shock!!

Of course, I’m not a night person either.

But, man, if you can catch me in the middle of the day, for a few minutes, I’m really with it!!

This is my philosophy on mornings:

When I was a kid, I remember that Me-maw would tell us to “roll right out of that bed in the morning”. She also accompanied that pearl of wisdom with a little hand clap. I don’t think she ever in all her life slept “late”. As a matter of fact, when she retired, I asked her how she liked retirement. She said, “Law, I slept until almost 7:30!”

Not sure why, but she used to say “law” a lot.

Anyway, I could never imagine Me-maw lazying around until noon in her pjs. Just wouldn’t happen.

Me-maw also used to say that when your feet the floor, you should “turn right around and make that bed”.

For real????

Who does that???

Well………Me-maw did. But I surely do not!

Sorry Me-maw!!

I’ve always been hard to wake up, even as a kid. Mom once sprinkled water in my face to get me up. Or maybe it was to wash my face. Either way, I did NOT care for it!

One year I got a chirping Woodstock for a gift. It hung from my ceiling in my room from a long coil and I thought it was pretty cute. I found a picture online and was saddened to discover that it is considered “vintage”!!!

How could 1972 be vintage?????

Wasn’t that just yesterday????

Anyway, when Dad would come to my room to try and get me up, he would turn on that chirping Woodstock, tug on it to start it bobbing around, then leave the room!!! The only way to stop that infernal noise was to get out of bed and turn it off!!! Pretty mean trick, if you ask me.

Of course, it didn’t help that you could hear him chuckling as he walked out of the room!

But Dad has always been a morning person.

How annoying!!

Especially to us middle-of-the-day people. 🙂