Archive | November 2012

Bad Luck Schleprock

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go your way?

I’m having that day today!!

It started out ok.

I rolled right out of bed at 6:00, got a shower, took care of the dog, got my food ready for the day, dried my hair, and even had about 8 minutes of laying-back-down time.

That’s when it all went to heck in a hand-basket.

I couldn’t find not one thing to wear today.

A closet full of clothes and NOTHIN‘.

Actually, the problem was more the temperature.  It was pretty dang cold this morning when I let Taj out so I figured I’d wear a sweater.  Unfortunately, sometimes our office feels like a sauna so I didn’t want to dress too warm.

What’s a girl to do???

So I picked out a sweater/jacket in my favorite color and figured I’d wear it with a white tank.

But the white tank was still in the dryer since I didn’t get the laundry finished last night.

{Isn’t this just way more detail than you could ever have wanted?!?!?!?!}

So down the stairs I went to grab the tank out of the dryer.

But the Mr. thinks I’m ready early (by some apparent miracle!).

Bless his heart, he’s sitting there in his coat with his sad little Kroger sack of stuff to take to work.  Why doesn’t his wife get him a nice man-bag?   Maybe something European??

Anyway, by the time I run back upstairs, I’m WAY too hot to put on a sweater!  But I’ve come too far to turn back now!!

All I’ve got to do now is  fix my hair and brush my teeth.  Easy, right???


After a bazillion years of fixing my own hair, I have suddenly forgotten how to do it!!!

I curled and combed and sprayed and teased and re-curled and re-combed and re-sprayed and re-teased to no avail!!!!  It’s a disaster!!!

At this point, Matt Lauer is back on after the local news break and I’m officially late.

I run to the bathroom and make a swipe at my teeth and head downstairs to grab my stuff.  I figure I better get my coat so by the time I get out the door, I’m a sweaty mess!!!

A sweaty mess with the worst hair!!!!

I get to the office and I’m checking my e-mail when it hits me.

The odor!

Yes, I DID take a shower.

It’s not that.

I can’t wear perfume.  Have I shared this profound life-truth with you before?

I’m not sure why but when I put perfume on, it just doesn’t smell good.  It may smell good on other people but on me it’s offensive……… ME!!!!  So I try to avoid it.  But every once in a while I’ll find a perfume that I really like and I’ll give it the old college try.  Only to once again be disappointed.

Apparently, the last time I wore this sweater was one of those times and I can’t stand the smell of myself!!

At this point I’m just looking forward to getting home, putting on my pj’s, watching Walking Dead from last night and going to bed early!!!

But if history teaches us anything, we all know THAT’S not going to happen!




Splish Splash

I love to swim.

Not that I can actually swim, mind you, but I like splashing around in the water.  I shouldn’t say that I can’t swim, it’s just not very pretty.  But I think I could swim enough to save myself if need be.  Hopefully, I’ll never have to put that to the test!!!

When I was a kid my brother and I would BEG Dad to get a pool.  But oh no!  That’s not going to happen!!!  He usually said it was because it was too much work and even though we ASSURED him we would do the work, somehow he never believed us.

Imagine that!!!

And we very rarely got to go to the public pool.  It cost 50 cents to get in and, heavenly day, we couldn’t afford that!!!  But occasionally I got to go with my cousins.  Of course, all they wanted to do was “lay out” but this pale girl could do that at home!!  I wanted to SWIM!!!

Side note:  I’m still as pale as can be and my cousins?  Tan!  It’s sad!!

When I was in college, I dated a guy who was a lifeguard and who was totally astonished by my swimming prowess.  Actually he couldn’t believe that with all my thrashing around I hadn’t managed to drown!


Be he did teach me how to jump off a diving board and get myself over to the side in deep water.

Then much to my surprise I not only married a guy whose parent’s had a pool but the Mr. doesn’t have a problem with maintaining a pool.  It’s no biggie.


All my dreams were coming true!!!

I have simple dreams, folks.

We spent the first 5-6 years of our married life in that pool with the kids and just had a blast.   The bad part is that the swimming pool season in NY starts around July 4 (if your lucky) and ends at Labor Day.  So basically, unless you have a pool  heater, you may get 6-8 weeks of swimming fun.

So now that we’ve moved to the oven that is Kentucky, I’m in full beg mode to get a pool.

Maybe next year.

Or the year after that.

Or the year after that.

I’ll keep you posted.

But never fear.

I’m sure you are feared about my pool situation, right?!?!?!?!?!

I don’t need a swimming pool to get my swim on!

All I need is a tub of water.


What I want to know is, who sneaked in and took these pictures of me?????



A Mind Is A Terrible Thing

Do you ever have a song just pop into your head?

Maybe a song you haven’t thought of in a really long time?

It happens to me a lot.

Like, a LOT!!!

Most of the time I think it’s pretty cool, especially considering that I’m terrible with song titles or artists.

The Mr., however,  does NOT think it’s cool.

Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’ll burst into song in the middle of a conversation that he finds un-cool.


The weirdest thing is when I wake up in the morning and I have a song in my head for no apparent reason.  I mean, it’s not like it fits into a dream I’m having or anything.  It’s just there.

And it may not just be a regular song.

Don’t judge me, but sometimes it’s a commercial jingle!

I know, I know.


This morning was one of those times.   I woke up singing:

“You can try hard,  or you can try soft.

Soft will get ’em every time, Love’s Baby Soft.

You can try hard, or you can try soft.

Soft will let your love-life shine, Love’s Baby Soft.”


I’m not sure if those are indeed the correct lyrics but that’s what I was singing.

How’s that for a blast from the past??

A commercial jingle from the mid-1970’s!!


What made me think of that?

No idea; but it’s been in my head all the ding-dong day!!

And now…………it’s in yours.

Your welcome.

Unless of course you’re too young to remember it.

If that’s the case, just give me a call and I’ll sing it for you.

The Mr. got the concert this morning!

He loved it!!  🙂





Thats The Night That The Lights Went Out

I remember hearing that song as a kid.  It used to scare me to death!!


‘Cause I’m all kinds of chicken!!!

Always was, always will be.

And then when the tune had finally left my consciousness, Reba decided to do a re-make and there it was again!!!

To this day, I turn down the radio when it comes on.

But recently there was a lights going out that just tickled me to no end!!

Mostly because it didn’t happen to me!  🙂

Last month the group that my little sister sings with, the Josh Martin Band, decided to stop performing and had their farewell concert here in Frankfort.  If you’ve never heard these guys, you really missed out!  Talent just oozes outta them.

Speaking of oozing (sorry Mom, had to do it!) that day, Molly and Steve went over to the church early to help set up (Steve mostly, Molly not so much) and do a sound check.  They hadn’t been feeling so good belly-wise that day so before the concert started, Steve thought he’d stop by the restroom since he would be behind the soundboard all night.

So Steve gets all settled and is taking care of business when suddenly, you guessed it, the lights went out!!!

Apparently the lights are on a timer so that they can save energy (I’m guessing) or maybe it’s just a fun little prank to play on the newbies but there he was…………pants around his ankles and in the pitch dark!!!!

Now, I know that it’s no fun having to use a strange bathroom when your tummy is gurglin’ but to have to clean up and then make your way to the sink in complete and utter darkness is just wrong!!

And funny!!!

Again, it’s funny because it wasn’t me!!!

So let that be a lesson to you…….check out the lighting situation in a different potty and maybe take a friend with you so that you can Marco Polo your way to the door!!

Happy weekend everyone!!



Up Your Nose With A Rubber Hose!

I’m having nose issues.

Not the usual nosey kind (which I normally suffer from on a daily basis) but the sniffy kind.

We’ve got family coming in from NY this weekend so we all know what that means…………Mish finally cleans her house!!!

With Tuesday being Election Day, the state had the day off. So what was a girl with a whole day off to do? She cleaned.

Now I’m gonna fess up that cleaning wasn’t my FIRST choice. It actually didn’t even crack the top 10 list of choices. But the Mr. decided he would work from home to make sure I stayed “motivated”!

Basically, he cracked the whip and I slaved away!!!

Don’t even let him tell you any different. We all know the truth.

The truth is that I hate to clean and if he hadn’t been home, I would have watched TV or played on the computer until about 4:45 then I would have buzzed through the house to make it look like I had worked hard.

Sad, but true.

Still I didn’t really appreciate it!!

Anyway, back to my nose issue.

I was cleaning the bathrooms and the Tilex smell was pretty strong. I didn’t think too much of it until I had to do the shower stall in the master bath. It’s tile from floor to ceiling. Actually, even the ceiling is tile. So I got in there and scrubbed away not really paying attention to the confined space until my eyes started to burn and my lungs felt like they would burst.

Smart, huh?!?!?!?!

For the next 2 days I felt like my lungs were on fire when I took a deep breath but this morning I was feeling pretty good.

That is, I was feeling pretty good until I got to work.

That’s when the toaster caught on fire and filled the break room with smoke!! And the funny thing about smoke is that it never stays in just the one room!!! So now it’s watery eyes and itchy nose and slightly sore throat. What a week!!

Unfortunately, these are not the worst things to go up my nose.

When I was a kid, our church had a hayride every year. The whole church would come and it was lots of fun!! Everyone came out to Elmo Logan’s farm and we loaded up on 3 or 4 wagons and snuggled up in the hay and blankets for a ride around the farm ending up at a big ole bonfire where we roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. Then when we headed back to the house, it was dark and we would all sing and enjoy the time together. I looked forward to this every year.

One year though I decided that I didn’t want to sit in the back anymore. So I made my way to the front of the wagon. I sat on the edge with my legs dangling off the side. I was so brave for sitting up there by myself in the dark.

Right up there behind the tractor.

The tractor with the big honkin’ tires.

That’s when I felt it.

Something wet hit me in the face.

Then I smelled it.


COW manure.

FRESH cow manure.

In my face.

Up my nose.

Man, I’ve never moved so fast in all my life, clawing my way to the back of that wagon.

I’ve been a back row kind of girl ever since.


Milk Carton Mish

Call off the search!!!

I’m here!!


You didn’t even notice that I was missing?????

Oh well, I’m back and boy do I have lots to say!!!

The problem is that I have no time to say it.

Type it.


Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about this nonsensical blog thing we’ve got goin’ and have, as a matter of fact, been writing LOTS of stories…………in my head.  And surprisingly enough, most of the stories are true!

I know!!!  Can you even believe it????

One of these days I’ll actually get it on here.

If I can remember.

I’m getting old, you know!!


And speaking of DVR’s………

We were speaking of DVR’s, right???

……….don’t you just hate when you sit down to watch a favorite show and realize that your DVR malfunctioned in some strange and odd way and didn’t tape your show????

And don’t you find it bizarre that we (and by we I mean ME) still use the term “tape” when there is no tape involved in any way with a DVR?

I must be showing my age.

At least I don’t still have 8-tracks.

Ok, so I DO still have 8-tracks.

But I don’t actually listen to them.

Ok, so I WOULD if I had a player.