Bad Luck Schleprock

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go your way?

I’m having that day today!!

It started out ok.

I rolled right out of bed at 6:00, got a shower, took care of the dog, got my food ready for the day, dried my hair, and even had about 8 minutes of laying-back-down time.

That’s when it all went to heck in a hand-basket.

I couldn’t find not one thing to wear today.

A closet full of clothes and NOTHIN‘.

Actually, the problem was more the temperature.  It was pretty dang cold this morning when I let Taj out so I figured I’d wear a sweater.  Unfortunately, sometimes our office feels like a sauna so I didn’t want to dress too warm.

What’s a girl to do???

So I picked out a sweater/jacket in my favorite color and figured I’d wear it with a white tank.

But the white tank was still in the dryer since I didn’t get the laundry finished last night.

{Isn’t this just way more detail than you could ever have wanted?!?!?!?!}

So down the stairs I went to grab the tank out of the dryer.

But the Mr. thinks I’m ready early (by some apparent miracle!).

Bless his heart, he’s sitting there in his coat with his sad little Kroger sack of stuff to take to work.  Why doesn’t his wife get him a nice man-bag?   Maybe something European??

Anyway, by the time I run back upstairs, I’m WAY too hot to put on a sweater!  But I’ve come too far to turn back now!!

All I’ve got to do now is  fix my hair and brush my teeth.  Easy, right???


After a bazillion years of fixing my own hair, I have suddenly forgotten how to do it!!!

I curled and combed and sprayed and teased and re-curled and re-combed and re-sprayed and re-teased to no avail!!!!  It’s a disaster!!!

At this point, Matt Lauer is back on after the local news break and I’m officially late.

I run to the bathroom and make a swipe at my teeth and head downstairs to grab my stuff.  I figure I better get my coat so by the time I get out the door, I’m a sweaty mess!!!

A sweaty mess with the worst hair!!!!

I get to the office and I’m checking my e-mail when it hits me.

The odor!

Yes, I DID take a shower.

It’s not that.

I can’t wear perfume.  Have I shared this profound life-truth with you before?

I’m not sure why but when I put perfume on, it just doesn’t smell good.  It may smell good on other people but on me it’s offensive……… ME!!!!  So I try to avoid it.  But every once in a while I’ll find a perfume that I really like and I’ll give it the old college try.  Only to once again be disappointed.

Apparently, the last time I wore this sweater was one of those times and I can’t stand the smell of myself!!

At this point I’m just looking forward to getting home, putting on my pj’s, watching Walking Dead from last night and going to bed early!!!

But if history teaches us anything, we all know THAT’S not going to happen!




3 thoughts on “Bad Luck Schleprock

  1. I think I’ll start my own fashion line…

    The wife’s perfume was from

    No it smelled nice.

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