The Poop Coat

My family gives me lots of grief over my motto:

“Mish don’t do poo”

It’s not that I can’t do poo, it’s that I prefer not to and usually there is someone else around who is more than willing to take care of that kid with the dirty diaper so there is really no need for me to volunteer.

And it’s not that I can’t talk about poo.  The Fierce’s can’t get together without the topic eventually coming around to poo.

I even have a cousin (Judy) that I call “Poo” but that’s because as a teenager she stepped in turkey poop and didn’t realize it was on her shoe until she got to school.  A teenage nightmare!!

On Sunday the Mr. and I decided that Taj needed a good walk and since it had warmed up nice, we went to the upper loop of Cove Spring.  It’s got a great view of the city and the path is nicely paved and there’s not TOO many trees for Taj to dilly-dally at.

The Mr. does not appreciate a dilly-dally.

I had put some poop bags in my coat pocket just to be on the safe side and off we went on our walk.

We didn’t get far when Taj decided he needed to relieve himself.

Sadly, I had put off shaving his backside over the weekend.

Big mistake.

BIG!!

I look at the Mr. and asked what I should do.

Try leaves, he told me.

Great idea.  But since it’s January, all the leaves were brittle as can be and of no help.

I dug around in my coat pocket and found ONE used Kleenex.

Not good.

So I came up with the brilliant idea that if I can get him to run around and shake himself, most of it would come off and then maybe the Kleenex would work.

WRONG!

That little guy shook with all his might but only managed to “spray” the mess all over his sides and legs!!

Now what do I do?????

Water!

I need water.

The quick thinking Mr. gave me the bottle of water he had brought for himself and I poured it on the back of the dog.

Now I’ve got a poopy, wet dog.

And here come some people walking toward us.

They are going to want to pet Taj.

Taj is going to want to jump on them.

We gotta get outta here.  QUICK!!

We turn and start to walk back to the car.

And it hits me……………I’ve got to get this guy home in my new car, which still has that new car smell, without getting poop everywhere!!!

Why, oh why, did we go to the park?????

Why, oh why, did I not shave the Taj butt when I first noticed the need?????

Why, oh why, didn’t we bring the Mr.’s pickup?????

So we get to the car and I dig around the glove box to find some McDonald’s napkins from our last trip to NY.

{At this point, the Mr. is in the car and pretending that he doesn’t even know us!}

I try my best to clean the poor guy up but he’s too far gone.

There’s really only one thing to do.

I take off my coat, put it in Taj’s little car seat and plop my poopy dog right on top!!!

We raced home as quickly as we could and I scooped him up, coat and all, and put him right in the tub.

Needless to say, he was not happy with me.

Needless to say, I wasn’t that happy myself!!!

Taj after the bath!

Taj after the bath!

But to make a long story longer, after the bath and the tub cleanup, I put my coat in the wash and it came out sparkling clean and fresh as a daisy!

Of course, it will forever, from that day forth, be known as the Poop Coat.

~Mish~

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