Be Careful What You Ask For

For the last couple of months I’ve been bugging the Mr. about something.

Ok…….I’ve been bugging him for at least 15 years now but I’m talking about a specific bugging.

For some reason, I’ve been wanting to get an elliptical.

I know.

It’s completely out of character for me.

I don’t know what’s come over me.

Actually, that’s a lie; I know exactly what’s come over me.

See, since October my family has been on a new diet.  It’s working really well and we’ve been encouraging each other and cheering each other on.

And I’ve lost quite a bit of weight.  I’ve still got a long way to go but its progress.

The problem is that my sister, Marti, is right on my heels.  Whenever we compare our loss, we are neck and neck.  I’ve kind of stalled the last few weeks and I’m just sure she’s caught up with me by now.  I’m afraid to ask!!!

All I know is that I’ve got to beat her!!!!

In the most loving and Christian of ways, of course.

I mean, I don’t want to hurt her.  I just want to win!!!

OK………If it hurts a little, it can’t be helped.

After all, she and Molly used to get me down on the ground and beat me with my own socks so a wee bit of pain would be alright.

But mostly it’s the desire to win!!


Hence, the elliptical.

We picked it up on Saturday at the Wal-mart and the Mr. decided that since it was so heavy, we would just unpack the box in the truck and carry it up to our bedroom in pieces.

Good plan.

But really what that means is that HE unpacks the box and I make a million trips up and down the stairs!!!

He’s no dummy.

After about 2 hours of “intense fellowship” we got that stupid thing put together.


And there it sat.

For two days.

But since it obviously wasn’t helping me by just sitting there, I decided yesterday to officially start my exercise regime.

After spending 20 minutes looking for something to wear, I finally found some shorts with a hole in the backside and some old tennis shoes.  I was ready to go.

Then the Mr. informed me that I needed to stretch first.  I figured I had stretched enough getting into those shorts but I found the stretches recommended in the book and got to work.

As I’m struggling to touch my toes, I realize that Taj is watching my every move.  With each stretch he’s tilting his little head as if confused by this new and strange behavior.

Much like he does when I make the bed or run the vacuum cleaner.

I finally got all stretched out and realized I had no water to drink.

I must stay hydrated, right???

So off I went to the kitchen to find a bottle of water.

Then I had to sit on the bed to catch my breath.

By this point I think my stretched out muscles had bounced back into their pre-stretched state, but I pushed on.

I put on the TV and climbed up on the dreaded machine.  I started at a pretty good pace.

Swish, swish, swish.

I was looking good.


I needed a breather.

I took my pulse.


Time lapsed:  1 minute.

Swish, swish, swish.


Break #2.

Finally after 10 minutes (which is really about 5 ACTUAL minutes of swishing and many, MANY breaks), I felt like I had done enough for the first day.

I forced my jello legs to climb down off that crazy thing that I had spent my hard-earned money on (ok, maybe not “hard-earned” but “earned” nonetheless) and collapsed on the bed.

And that’s how the Mr. found me.

Remember when I said that a little pain would be ok??

I meant for Marti………not me!!!!




5 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Ask For

  1. Tears are flowing!!! Some may think this an exaggeration but I KNOW it’s all too true! In fact, I can picture it vividly in my mind! Toooooo funny! You should’ve tried mine before purchasing. You’dve had to clean it off first but still…

  2. Just GREAT!!! Now I have to start exercising too if I want to win! AND I MOST CERTAINLY want to win!! I knew we were in competition but I didn’t think you knew! See what you’ve caused!

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