For years now, my family has lovingly called me Mrs. Magoo.
Well, I’m not so sure it’s meant to be loving but they have called me that.
And I guess I deserve it.
I not only see things that AREN’T there, I don’t see stuff that IS there.
Does that make any sense whatsoever???
Once when Marti and I were in college, we were coming home for the weekend. Marti was driving our hip ’76 Cutlass that was at least the size of a small yacht. It was really, really late and we were going down a pretty curvy country road.
We were almost home when I called out “Look out!!!”
Marti hit the brakes and yelled “What is it?”
“There’s a big cow in the road!!”
The big cow turned out to be a dark blob of blacktop where the road had been patched.
A little further down the road, I shouted again……DEER!!!!
Once again, Marti jerked that boat to a stop.
You can’t be too careful out in the country. Deer are everywhere and they don’t always stop, look, and listen.
That deer that we almost creamed…..
That deer that almost smashed our boat-car……
That deer turned out to be a red reflector on a mailbox.
But in my defense, if that mailbox had jumped out in front of us, we could have been seriously hurt!!
I come by it honest though.
My Me-maw was the queen of seeing or not seeing stuff.
She once got into a turning lane when she wasn’t planning to turn and as we kept going straight into the shoulder of the road, she declared “OH! I done run out of road!”
We still say that around our house.
The best, though, was one Christmas when my sisters, brother and I decided that we would get each other gag gifts for Christmas. See, in our family, everyone got you a Christmas gift until you graduated from high school. Then you were out in the cold!! So while our cousins were still getting presents, we got to sit and watch. BIG FUN!!!
To clarify, that was the rule at Me-maw’s house. Santa was always good to us.
Except maybe that year I asked for cowboy boots and got snow boots.
But that’s a sad story for another day.
Actually it’s a sad story for today because that’s the whole story.
One year, the four of us thought it would be nice to have at least SOMETHING to open so we went with gag gifts. I don’t really remember what I got or even what I gave but I will never forget what Marc got. He opened his gift and pulled out a poster. We all started laughing (I can’t for the life of me remember why we thought it was so funny in the first place) and then he turned it around to show the group.
Side bar: I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted a picture of Molly on this blog but she is the only one of us kids with blonde hair.
When Marc showed us the poster, Me-maw called out “Is that Molly?”
We all busted a gut.
And here’s why: