Toe Licks and the Devil

The Mr. and I had a pretty good weekend.

Not spectacular but all around pretty good.

Well, I guess it was good except for the furnace breaking.

But that’s really more of a Mr. issue.

It only affects me when I’m cold.

I’m not too concerned, though, cause the Mr. is all over it.

It’ll be fixed in a jiffy.

He’s good like that!  🙂

Since spring has finally decided to show its face, I felt like it was time to tackle a job that I have let slide since last summer.  It’s one of those dreaded activities that I really wish I could pay someone to take care of.  But since I’m pushing for a pool this summer, I figure I better attempt it on my own.

It was time to make these nasty KY feet sandal-ready.

A Herculean task to be sure.

They are bad.


I’ve shared with you before my aversion to lotion and since I also dislike shoes, it makes for really scaly feet.

I dug deep into my arsenal of unused beauty supplies and found all sorts of sanders and files and whatnot to take the sharp edges off, so yesterday afternoon I set out to pretty up these tootsies.

I got a towel, sat in the middle of the living room floor and went to work.

It was at this point that I realized that Taj had about as much appreciation for the foot sander as he does the vacuum cleaner (another tool I largely ignore).  He barked and barked and barked and barked until I worried that he was disturbing the Mr. and his Guitar Hero playing so I opted for the manual version of the sander.

I started scraping and sanding and loofa-ing until, wouldn’t you know, the little guy had to get his nose right in there.

Taj, I mean.  Not the Mr.

Taj must have thought it was pretty nifty smelling because he then decided that what those toes needed was a good dog-lickin’.

I realize that by now I’ve lost my brother’s attention.

Marc is probably by now trying not to lose his lunch and hoping that the image of my KY feet (or any feet for that matter) is not burned into his mind to give him nightmares.

The boy hates feet!!

So I finally got to the point that the sander was too dull and the feet not so gross and since Taj had given them a good bath, I moved on to the painting of the toenails.

I begged and pleaded with the Mr. to do it for me but he was too busy staring in his “rock and roll band”.

Now to clarify, even if he had been staring at the four walls, there was no way he would have agreed to paint my toenails.

I mean, he loves me and all, but there are limits, I think.

Thankfully, once I opened the nail polish, Taj took a hike!  He can’t stand the smell.

That’s pretty bad when a smell is so bad that a dog runs away.

My dad always said that if the military could figure out how to load the stuff on a missile, we’d win any war.

He exaggerates a tad.

I finally got some color slathered on there (I have a problem staying in the lines) and even painted my finger nails.  I fancied them up with a little glitter which is now on EVERYTHING!!


So this morning, I hoped right out of bed (yeah, right!) and put on a cute pink top that Marti had given me (another plus of losing weight!), slipped into my sandals and my cute denim jacket with the rhinestone butterflies that I had gotten when the Mr.’s Aunt Betty passed away (that lady had some cute clothes!!) and as I’m parading down the boulevard, the devil decided that I felt a little bit too good about myself and he was gonna put a stop to it.

He’s mean like that!

I noticed a woman walking ahead of me.

She was tall and slender and young enough that she doesn’t yet use words like “slender”.

She was dressed in a black business dress that was cut right above her knees and she was wearing a black trench coat and black high heels and was carrying a briefcase.  Very professional looking.

As I walked through the haze of perfume that was definitely not Jean Nate, I suddenly felt like a short, fat girl wearing hand-me-down clothes.

But then it hit me.

That poor girl had not one rhinestone on her clothes.

And there was no glitter on her nails.

That poor, poor girl.

How does she even get through the day dressed like that???

I added her to the church prayer list.

Bless her heart!



One thought on “Toe Licks and the Devil

  1. Sorry, Mish, but that toe licking is just plain gross!!! However…the critique of that other girl’s outfit is hilarious!!! Poor girl.

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