Archive | June 2013

The Not-so-Great Outdoors

I’m an in-doorsy kind of girl.

I know…..you’re shocked.

But I’ve never been a fan of being outside.

Whether it’s hot or cold, I’d rather be in.

That’s where the TV is.

But the Mr. is different.

He loves to camp and sit in the yard and play Frisbee golf and hike and all manner of different un-Mish-like activities.

But he knew what he was getting when  he married me so I don’t feel too sorry for him.  🙂

He finally hit on the outdoor activity that I can get into.

Swimming.

Well, not swimming exactly.

More like thrashing around in cool, refreshing, chlorinated water.

Not river water.

Not lake water.

And not fish-y water!!

When I was a kid, my brother, Marc, and I would BEG our dad to get us a pool.

BEG.

But he wouldn’t budge.

NO POOL.

So when the Mr. and I married, it was an added bonus that his parent’s had a pool.

Or maybe the pool was the incentive and the marriage was the bonus.

Just joshin’!!

More or less.  😉

The first few years of swimming, I mean marriage, were bliss.

Then my in-laws got this crazy notion to take down the pool.

Are you kidding me???

If you HAVE a pool, why would you ever get rid of it????

At the time we had a boat so I tried not to make too big a stink over it but I think they knew I was unhappy.

Something about me not having a poker face, I think.

I get that from my mother.

So what is a girl with no pool to do???

She starts nagging her husband, that’s what!

And I nagged and I nagged and I nagged.

And lo and behold………..HE CAVED!!

He actually caved!

Can you believe it????

Unfortunately, along with a pool comes hard work.

Hard OUTSIDE work.

{Could this be why my in-laws got rid of their pool???  Hmmmmmm}

So the last few weeks, I have spent more time in the yard than I think I ever have in my whole life.

And we’re not done yet.

Landscaping must be done.

More outside work!

A deck must be built.

More outside work!

And do you people know what lives outside????

BUGS!!!

Do you know what I hate more than anything in life????

BUGS!!!

But apparently the bugs like me.

More specifically, mosquitoes like me.

No, mosquitoes LOVE me.

I am like sugar to them!!!

My legs are completely eaten up.  I can’t even be outside for a second without being swarmed by mosquitoes.

The Mr.???

Not one single bite!

I think he may be in cahoots with the mosquitoes.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at these lovely legs.

Leg

Actually it’s just one leg, but you get the gist.

{The bruise is a nice touch, don’t you think????}

I’m one itchy girl so I looked online to find some home remedies for mosquito bites.

There were some interesting ideas but the one I chose?

The Scotch tape method of itch relief.

Yep, that’s right.

I’m sitting here with bits of tape all over my legs.

And I do believe it’s working………I haven’t scratched in MINUTES!!

~Mish~

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Skinheads, Automatic Doors and Summer in a Bowl

It was hot yesterday.

I mean H-O-T!

So I took Taj to the Salon.

Actually I took him to his vet’s office because they groom dogs there but since it costs so bloomin’ much, I feel better to think of it as a Salon.

Of course, he got the usual……..bath, haircut, hiney shave & nails trimmed.

Now, I don’t know if it was because of the heat or what, but that little groomer girl really, REALLY cut his hair short this time.

Like, REALLY short.

Here’s a picture of my little skinhead that I took last night……

IMG_20130612_193517

Actually he’s still got a hairy head. It’s his body that’s skinned but I don’t think the term “skinbody” is an actual word.

And that not really skin.  His undercoat is just really light.

But with his poofy head and tail, he looks like a little lion.

Actually he looks like a BIG-HEADED lion!!!

I wish I had a face picture to show you.

Imagine his little spindly chicken legs holding up a body with a ginormous head!!!

Quite hysterical but don’t tell him I was laughing at him.

I don’t want to hurt his little feelings.

So at lunch today I had to run some errands.

Actually it was just the one errand to Rite Aid but by the time I got from downtown to Rite Aid on the east side I had eaten up a bunch of my lunch hour.

And I would much rather eat something good at lunch than eat time.

Gives me heartburn.

I don’t know if any of you have been to the Rite Aid on the east side of Frankfort but let me tell you, it’s like going back to the 1950’s.

At least I imagine it is because I wasn’t even thought of in the 50’s.

The first time I ever went there, I just about busted my nose walking in.

I go be-bopping up to the door and right before hitting the glass, I realized the doors are not automatic.

Oh no they are not!!

You have to manually pull those doors open.

Pull them open!

MANUALLY!!

People, we are in the year of our Lord 2013 and this Rite Aid has manual doors!!

YES!

I KNOW!!

I may have to switch to CVS.

It’s very disturbing.

So after my whirlwind trip to the Rite Aid of the past, I stopped at Wendy’s to get me and the Mr. some lunch.

The Mr. likes the chili but those beans look just like cockroaches so I don’t go near it!!

This was my lunch:

IMG_20130613_123655

If you’ve not gotten the Berry Almond Chicken Salad at Wendy’s before, RUN to get one!!

It’s awesome!!

It comes with a fat-free raspberry vinaigrette that is so yummy I could just drink it!

I’m sure that you, like me, are a little in shock right now.

Did I, Mish, really just give a rave review for a SALAD?????

Yes.

Yes I did!

Will wonders never cease!!  🙂

~Mish~

 

Conspiracy Theory

I’m not sure which one of you ratted me out but apparently someone has!

I’ve opened myself up to you and this is the thanks I get???

So who did it?

Who betrayed me?

Because either someone told them or else taught them to read this blog for themselves.

Well, whoever it was, they are retaliating.

BIG TIME!

Somehow the birds have figured out that I have no love for them or their deposits they leave me!!

It all started on the side porch.

When we bought the house, I envisioned sitting in this little alcove in the evening and watching the world go by.  We put nice chairs and a little outdoor sofa on the porch and with the tall bushes on the side, it’s a quiet little piece of heaven.

Until THEY showed up!

bird

Those stinkin’ birds.

For some unknown reason they have decided that this is their haven.  There is not one piece of furniture that they have not “bombed”.  And even when we trimmed the bushes back, they keep on coming.

Apparently our porch is known in the bird community as the Birdie Toilet.

Come one, come all.

And they HAVE!!

But lest you think that these pesky little creatures have limited their daily constitution to the porch, let me reassure you that they have a contingency plan.

It seems that if the porch is “occupied” these little boogers have chosen the back patio as Plan B.

Every square inch of our patio is “decorated” and draws the attention of Taj every time he goes out back.

But I guess it’s not entirely the birds fault.

After all, they see the dog “going” back there so why not???

But these evil little winged minions have decided that terrorizing me at home is just not enough.

They have followed me to work.

On any given day, I go out to my car and it is COVERED in “presents” from these vicious animals.  And to top it all off, after my vehicle has set in the sun all day, it’s nice and baked on.

Lovely!

The most egregious display of hatred toward me came a couple of months ago.

That’s when I found it.

Sitting there hidden in the bush at my front door.

A nest.

A perfect little work of art.

Amazing how they can take sticks and mud and string and leaves and whatever else they find and make a perfect little home for their babies.

BABIES?!?!?!?!

You mean they are making more??????

Well, this will never do!!

I told the Mr. that I HAVE to get that nest out of there before the eggs are laid.

I can’t wait.

I must be tough.

I gotta take control of my own property and INSIST that the mother take her babies and go elsewhere.

So with all my ranting and raving about the nest at my front door, do you think I actually MOVED that nest???

Why, no I did not.

And guess what!!!?!?!!?!?!?

BABIES!!!

Little fuzzy, blind, chirping babies.

Now before you get all warm and fuzzy, let me remind you what a mother bird does if you disturb her babies.

That momma goes ballistic!!!

How dare you come close to her precious babies.

How dare you walk near that nest.

How dare you have company come to the front door.

Well she sure showed us.

Every time we passed by that bush (which was every time we came into or out of the house!!) that bird flew out at us!!!

And even if you KNEW she was gonna do it, it still makes you jump.

Thank the Lord she never pecked at us.

Or pooped on our heads.

Though I do think there was an “accident” when the Pizza Guy rang the doorbell.

I just hope he brought a change of clothes to work that day!  🙂

~Mish~

I Cannot Tell A Lie

Once upon a time there lived a little girl.

This little girl loved Gilligan’s Island so she insisted that her family call her “Ginger”.

Ginger was a precious little thing and as a middle child she craved attention.

One of her favorite pastimes was gathering her sisters into her “church” (which was just a big space behind a hedge row beside the house) where she led the “congregation” in some singing of hymns and then the praching began!!

Boy could Ginger ever more preach!!

Of course, when she was preaching she wasn’t called Ginger.

She was Dr. Boatwright.

Sometimes she even managed to get those heathens saved so Ginger would take them to the wading pool and “baptize” them.

And since Ginger was a Baptist, that means she dunked ‘em good!!!

When Ginger was in kindergarten, she decided one day to take her sister’s toy for Show and Tell.

donald duck

She was so excited!!

She put the Donald Duck toy in a brown paper bag and couldn’t wait until it was her turn.

Unfortunately, for me…..I mean Ginger….she couldn’t keep a secret worth a diddly-squat and told her friend Mary Beth what she had in the bag.

Finally it was my Ginger’s turn in the middle of the circle.

The teacher asked if anyone wanted to guess what item Ginger had brought.

Up shot the hand of that stinkin’ Mary Beth!!

When the teacher called on MB, she said “Ginger brought a Donald Duck toy”.

Teacher:  Is that what’s in the bag?

Ginger:  NOPE!

On and on the guessing went while Ginger basked in the attention of her class.

When all the guesses had been made, the teacher asked Ginger to reveal her item.

Out came the Donald Duck.

Well, let me tell you, that teacher was none too pleased with me, I mean her!!

And I think it’s safe to say that was the end of the friendship with Mary Beth!

Sadly, Ginger’s family still brings up this indiscretion lo these many years later.

After all, if she lied to Mary Beth, can she really be trusted?????

But personally, I think they overlook the real lesson here, which is:

DON’T TRUST MARY BETH!!!

~Mish~