Conspiracy Theory

I’m not sure which one of you ratted me out but apparently someone has!

I’ve opened myself up to you and this is the thanks I get???

So who did it?

Who betrayed me?

Because either someone told them or else taught them to read this blog for themselves.

Well, whoever it was, they are retaliating.


Somehow the birds have figured out that I have no love for them or their deposits they leave me!!

It all started on the side porch.

When we bought the house, I envisioned sitting in this little alcove in the evening and watching the world go by.  We put nice chairs and a little outdoor sofa on the porch and with the tall bushes on the side, it’s a quiet little piece of heaven.

Until THEY showed up!


Those stinkin’ birds.

For some unknown reason they have decided that this is their haven.  There is not one piece of furniture that they have not “bombed”.  And even when we trimmed the bushes back, they keep on coming.

Apparently our porch is known in the bird community as the Birdie Toilet.

Come one, come all.

And they HAVE!!

But lest you think that these pesky little creatures have limited their daily constitution to the porch, let me reassure you that they have a contingency plan.

It seems that if the porch is “occupied” these little boogers have chosen the back patio as Plan B.

Every square inch of our patio is “decorated” and draws the attention of Taj every time he goes out back.

But I guess it’s not entirely the birds fault.

After all, they see the dog “going” back there so why not???

But these evil little winged minions have decided that terrorizing me at home is just not enough.

They have followed me to work.

On any given day, I go out to my car and it is COVERED in “presents” from these vicious animals.  And to top it all off, after my vehicle has set in the sun all day, it’s nice and baked on.


The most egregious display of hatred toward me came a couple of months ago.

That’s when I found it.

Sitting there hidden in the bush at my front door.

A nest.

A perfect little work of art.

Amazing how they can take sticks and mud and string and leaves and whatever else they find and make a perfect little home for their babies.


You mean they are making more??????

Well, this will never do!!

I told the Mr. that I HAVE to get that nest out of there before the eggs are laid.

I can’t wait.

I must be tough.

I gotta take control of my own property and INSIST that the mother take her babies and go elsewhere.

So with all my ranting and raving about the nest at my front door, do you think I actually MOVED that nest???

Why, no I did not.

And guess what!!!?!?!!?!?!?


Little fuzzy, blind, chirping babies.

Now before you get all warm and fuzzy, let me remind you what a mother bird does if you disturb her babies.

That momma goes ballistic!!!

How dare you come close to her precious babies.

How dare you walk near that nest.

How dare you have company come to the front door.

Well she sure showed us.

Every time we passed by that bush (which was every time we came into or out of the house!!) that bird flew out at us!!!

And even if you KNEW she was gonna do it, it still makes you jump.

Thank the Lord she never pecked at us.

Or pooped on our heads.

Though I do think there was an “accident” when the Pizza Guy rang the doorbell.

I just hope he brought a change of clothes to work that day!  🙂



2 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theory

  1. Maybe you need to be like that old woman that lived behind us at Creek Trl. Remember she would go out and slap (not clap) her hands together to make the birds go away for 2 secs and then they would come right back. You have turned into THAT lady! LOL

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