Archive | October 2013

Death, Taxes & Light-up Balls

I think the Mr. is trying to kill me.

Not actually kill me because then who would do the laundry??

No, he’s trying to kill me with yard work.

The weather last weekend and the beginning of this week was just perfection.  Not too hot but sunny and beautiful.  Perfect for finally moving all that pool dirt around.

And by pool dirt I mean the dirt that was dug up to install the pool, not dirt that was IN the pool because, oh my, does the Mr. keep that pool spotless.

I mean, woe be unto the leaf that dares fall into OUR pool!!!!

You wouldn’t think that shoveling a bit of dirt would be so hard and if you’re the Mr., it’s really not. 

But if you’re the Mish……….OH YES, THE AGONY!!

Of course, it doesn’t help that the Mr. gave me the old heavy shovel that I can barely lift, even with no dirt on it.  But I’ve learned that if I whine just a little bit, he moves me off shoveling duty to the more tolerable sprinkling of grass seed.

Then comes the watering of said grass seed which seems easy enough but, alas, I needed “instruction” on that task as well.

Thankfully, the Lord above heard my prayers of distress and sent showers of blessing on Wednesday and Thursday! 

HALLELUJAH!

But the Mr. has big plans for the weekend to get the last of the dirt moved and seeded.  I just hope it’s not too cold for the seeds to take root because, heavenly day, I don’t want to have to do this again in the spring!!

This week was also property tax week in our neck of the woods.

Yep, tax bills came out over the weekend and boy are folks mad!

So what do you do when you’re mad about your taxes???

Why, you call the girl at the tax assessor’s office who, by the way, had NOTHING to do with your assessment OR the tax rate and you cuss her right out!

Right. Out.

And you know what that girl could do for these angry taxpayers??

Big lot of nuthin’!

That poor, poor girl!

But never fear………..she had fun-filled evenings of dirt moving with her beloved to look forward to!

And that brings us to the Taj.

The other night the Mr. and I were watching TV and trying to not think about cussers and dirt when we heard Taj diggin around in his toy bag.

He dug and he dug and he scratched and he scratched but whatever he was looking for could not be found.

The Mr. moved the bag to the middle of the floor and I helped Taj empty out the bag.

He sniffed and sniffed and sniffed and sniffed but couldn’t find what he was looking for.

Then he found this red ball that he’s had forever but has never played with.  But all of a sudden THAT WAS THE TOY!!

He tossed it around and pushed it with his nose and pranced around with this ball.  I’ve never seen him have so much fun with a ball.  He loved it.

Then he pushed it into the fireplace.

It bounced back at him.

He did it again but this time it didn’t come back to him.

So what’s a cute little doggie to do???

Why, stand and bark at it, of course!

Finally I crawled over and reached in to grab it to find that it’s now covered in dog spit and fireplace soot.

So I take it into the kitchen to clean it off and when I do, it starts blinking like crazy and a weird siren starts going off.

What in this world?????

Well, Taj LOVED this new feature!

He played and played with this ball and then all of a sudden…..he was done.

Enough.

In the words of Me-maw, “I’ll not have that”.

And he pushed it against the wall and laid down for a nap.

So all was quiet as I tried to concentrate on Survivor when out of the blue that silly ball started blinking and wailing again!

Well, Taj didn’t like this too much and neither did his mom!

He picked it up and slammed it into the wall and it stopped.

Again, we went back to our peaceful, restful night; and once again that crazy ball went bizerko!

By this point Taj was ticked right off and just looked at me as if to say “will you get that?”.

So I tried to find an off switch.

They ain’t none!!!

Next I tried to wrap it in a towel.

Nope……..can still hear it!

Finally I taped up the “sound holes” with Scotch tape, wrapped it in TWO towels and stuffed it in a bag in the closet of the Mr.’s office.

Ah…………the sound of silence!!

Weirdly, the next day we got it out for Taj to play with, and it won’t light up and it won’t make a sound.

Which is ok, I guess, ‘cause Taj is totally over it!

Oh well, wonder what next week will bring????

~Mish~

 

Who Let the Dogs In?????

So I got home from work yesterday and there, waiting to greet me like a furry little bouncing ball, was my precious Taj.

What a good boy!

He missed his mom!

But what is that on my good boy’s side?

Something’s stuck in his fur.

Something tan-ish like his hair.

Something foamy and chair-like.

What is it, buddy?

Let me see…..

What did you do????

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WHAT DID YOU DO??????

Now, in full disclosure, I must admit that the rip was already in my chair cushion.

And no, Taj didn’t put it there.

That would be me!

See, when the Mr. and I went furniture shopping many moons ago, I found this chair that was so big I could curl right up in it.  Right. Up. In. It.

And curl up I did!

Plenty of room for a curled up me.

Or for me and Andrew when he needs a back scratch.

Or for me and Belle when she’s reading me a Junie B. Jones.

Or for me and Taj.

It’s Totes Jelly, people!

But the problem is that after I sit for awhile, the chair just kind of swallows me.  So I use my curled up legs to push myself back up into the seat and over much time I have ripped the material.

No problem, right?

Just turn the cushion over.

Well whadayaknow, there’s a matching rip on the other side!

The Mr. has told me time and again that I need to either get it reupholstered, which I know nothing about or we need to chuck it and get a sectional, which is what he really wants, I’m thinkin’.

But I LOVE my big ole chair.  Even with the rip(s) and even though the cushions are saggin’ and sad!

{Aren’t we all a little saggin’ and sad sometimes????}

But apparently Taj thought it was also a tasty treat!

Needless to say, he was in big trouble and when the Mr. got home, he was in even MORE trouble.

The Mr. did ask me if I put a Pupperoni in the cushion so that I could go furniture shopping but that just shows that he doesn’t understand the depth of my love for the chair!

How sad for the Mr.

But Taj and I eventually made up.

After all, how could anyone stay mad at this little pookie-face for very long?????

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~Mish~

Hip to be Square

The Mr. and I pride ourselves in being young, hip and in the know.

Sadly, our little world was shattered over the weekend.

Here’s what happened:

Friday after work, we headed to Georgetown to the Sears store where we needed to pick up the ever-so-hip stovetop we had ordered.

We were so excited.

Which shows you right there just how hip we really are!

Unfortunately for us, this weekend was also the Festival of the Horse in that town so we knew that we needed to avoid downtown like the plague!!  After all, we were there for appliance fun, not real fun!

We got to the Sears, got our stovetop and thought we’d try out a restaurant we had heard so much about, Mancino’s.

{This really isn’t a review of a restaurant but I will say that one of us liked the food, the other did not.  You figure out which!  :-)}

While we waited for our food, I posted on the Facebook that we were at Mancino’s.  I did this because, heaven forbid, we have an actual conversation while we wait.

This is a true sign of our hipness; socializing via media instead of actual socializing.

I got a couple of responses to my post about our supper destination but one comment had me stumped.  It was from my nephew, Josh, who really and truly IS hip and in the know.  He’s also young-ish

This is what Josh wrote:

“Totes Jelly! That places is killer.I always enjoyed lunch there with Dad when we’d be working in that forsaken parking lot.”

I read this out loud to the Mr.

Totes Jelly?

Never heard of it.

Must be a happenin’ new restaurant in Georgetown.

So I looked it up.

Nothing.

Maybe it’s just a small mom & pop joint that doesn’t have a website.

Or maybe it was a sandwich on the menu.

I asked the Mr. if he saw “Totes Jelly” on the menu.

No, he didn’t see it.

I thought I’d ask Josh about it because we’re always looking for a new place to eat.

Then the Mr. decided that in the meantime we would use Totes Jelly as a saying for something that’s awesome.  As in, that food we just ate was totes jelly!

You know, like, totally rad.

We even planned to whip out that saying at our family meal the next night and impress my family with our cool, hip lingo.

Doesn’t that sound like an awesome idea?

Wouldn’t that be totes jelly????

We thought so.

Then on the way home we saw some punk looking kid walking through the neighborhood with his baggy britches and his backwards hat and I said maybe HE’S totes jelly!!

Then the Mr. and I just laughed and laughed at our cool, hip humor!

We crack ourselves up!

Well, by the next night, we forgot all about Totes Jelly during supper and didn’t even get to show off our hip language to my fam.

Later, we were talking to my cousin, Shelby, who was spending the night and I thought I’d ask her about the cool new restaurant called Totes Jelly.  After all, she is FROM Georgetown.  She would know, right???

“Shelby, have you ever heard of Totes Jelly?”

“Sure.  It means totally jealous.”

WHAT?!?!?!?!

TOTALLY JEALOUS?!?!?!?!?

Once the Mr. and I got our laughing selves up off the floor, I told her how I thought it might be a saying that meant something was hip to which she quickly informed me that nobody, NOBODY, says hip anymore and the very fact that I kept saying hip was proving the fact that I’m a complete lame-o!!

{She didn’t actually say lame-o, probably because the youngsters don’t say that either but since I have no earthly idea what the kids say these days, I’ll stick with lame-o.}

The Mr. told her he thought it meant “the cat’s meow”.

I immediately informed him that was not very hip either but, once again, Shelby let me know that “cat’s meow” was better than hip!!

So it was a tough weekend.

First, I was excited by an appliance.

Then I realized that I need an interpreter when talking to young people.

And the worst of all, I am hopelessly and completely un-hip!

~Mish~

Great Expectations

A lady came into the office today.

A lady from my past.

A lady from my way long ago past.

A lady who scares the stuffing out of me.

My 9th grade English teacher.

This woman frightened me from the first day of class until the final bell rang on the last day of the school year.

And funnily enough, whenever I see her, those same feelings come back as if I was still that 15-year-old girl.

It’s like I’m afraid she’ll make me read “Great Expectations” again.

Now that’s a scary prospect!!!!

{Ok…..”again” may have been the wrong word.}

{Also “read” may have been misused as well.  I should probably have said “watch the movie”}

{Ok, ok……….maybe I should have said ATTEMPTED to watch the movie.  Have you ever tried to watch this movie????  Snooze-fest!!}

{David, do you remember that?  You tried to watch it with me!!}

So I did the only thing I could do.

I started getting up from my desk at a snails pace.

I mean I was so stinkin’ slow you couldn’t even tell if I was moving or not.

And sure enough, Doug got up before me; though truth be told he didn’t pop up too quick either.  I think she was his teacher as wll!!

So with one ear on their conversation I quickly realized that I made the right choice in not going up to the counter.

On and on she goes.

And Doug, to his credit, stays right with her.

She is truly a fountain of knowledge.  She even talked about some property that had been given to slaves when they were first freed.

And do you know how she knows this???

CAUSE SHE WAS THERE!!!!!

Bless her heart.

I shouldn’t be so hard on her.

I understand that she’s a very pleasant woman and is still of very sound mind, even at the ripe old age of 162.

And that is really quite a feat considering how many times she’s had to teach “Great Expectations” to a group of 15-year-olds. 😉

~Mish~