Archive | November 2013

Nervous & Jerky

I’ve got a bad case of the DTs.

And no, it’s not because the vending machine ran out of Mt. Dew.

That would be a whole other kind of tragedy.

It’s been well documented that I have an addictive personality.

In college I was addicted to Diet Coke.  Then at some point the Mr. convinced me that Diet Coke would kill me so I switched to the Dew.  Something tells me that he was trying to nudge me in the water direction but I don’t nudge easily and I just sort of landed on Dew.

Some say I’m addicted to nasal spray but I choose to think of it more as an affinity to breathing.

Which brings me to my most serious addiction and the reason for today’s tremors……TV.

You’ve heard the expression “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” well a more important saying is “if Mish don’t got TV, heads are gonna roll”.

{Trust me, it’s a real saying!}

I’m not a very routined person except for weekday mornings.  I get up at the same time and have a very regimented schedule:

6:00 – get up and shower

6:20 – feed the dog, read the Holy Word, let the dog out

6:43 – lay back down in bed and watch LEX 18 News at Sunrise

7:00 – Today Show

As soon as the Today Program comes on, I know I better be up and getting myself ready so that I can walk out the door by 7:45-ish.

The “ish” is because sometimes Taj is just too cute and needs extra pettins and that throws me off my game.

Well, today when I came upstairs to put on the News at Sunrise, NO TV!

Ok, the TV was actually there but it sure wouldn’t come on!!

So I head to the Mr.’s bathroom to get some technical support.  He was in the shower and so I just stood at the door and asked (apparently too loudly) what was wrong with the TV set.

Later I found out that such behavior is frowned upon as we don’t normally speak that early in the morning and he didn’t hear me coming.  I assured him that next time I would employ the more subtle approach of throwing back the shower curtain while wielding a butcher knife.  He feels that it would be a little less frightening than what I did this morning.

Go figure!

But being the professional computer guru that he is, the Mr. told me to unplug it, wait 30 seconds and plug it back in.

He’s a smart one!

Unfortunately, that didn’t work.

Now what???

Get ready with no TV???

Are you crazy???

How will I know what the weather is gonna be?

How will I know the important news of the day?

How will I know who is the Facebook Fan of the Day??

What is this world coming to???

Needless to say, I spent the whole entire morning getting ready for work in complete and utter silence.

But I had my nasal spray so at least I wasn’t a mouth breather. 🙂

~Mish~

 

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Give Thanks

turkey

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and during this time of year, while most of us are looking forward to a big ole turkey feast, there are some among us who start to feel sorry for the turkey.

Poor little yummy turkey.

There’s even a new animated movie out this month about saving the turkey; which will probably be really cute but I’m sure it will make thousands of little kids mourn the death of the noble bird.

But there is another animal that has it just as tough or even tougher this time of year.

The deer.

While a turkey is mighty fine eatin’, the prospect of killing a cute little deer is a bit harder to take.

With those big ole eyes looking at you from behind those long eyelashes, how can you possibly pull that trigger???

And who among us didn’t have a heavy heart over the loss of Bambi’s mother???

Don’t get me wrong……I’ll eat the thing, I just don’t want to see it before hand.

So today I thought I’d share with you about the time Molly and I bagged our first and (hopefully) only deer.

Long ago in a land far, far away………

Molly and I decided to go to the exotic land of Paducah for a weekend vocal seminar.  It was just a Friday night and all day Saturday thing but Steve Hurst was the vocal coach and since he had coached lots of popular Gospel singers over the years, we were super excited to have an expert help us out.

I made the hotel reservations and away we went.

We got there and found out that the room they had booked for us was a smoking room.

I know what you’re thinking……..how does a room smoke???

No??

You weren’t thinking that?

That was just me???

Well, whatever!

But I figured, how bad can it be?  There won’t actually be a smoker in the room so it should be fine.  Besides the fact that it was our only option at this point.

Do you know what a smoking room smells like?

SMOKE.

{Well, duh!!!  Come on people!  Even Helen Keller coulda seen that one coming!}

By the next morning, my throat was super scratchy and I had very little voice at all.

Just what you want when at a VOCAL seminar!!

So needless to say, Molly got all kinds of pointers from Steve Hurst and I got a big lot of nothing!!

Late on Saturday evening we started the long trek home.

We had taken Molly’s little sporty car and were jamming away with some good tunes when out of the darkness came this humongous deer.

You’ve heard the saying “like a deer in headlights”?

Well, all three of us had that look!!

deer in headlights

Since Molly was driving we were probably traveling at speeds far outside the bounds of the law and we hit that deer with a sickening thud.

When we hit that furry guy, the impact swung his body around and his backside smashed into the driver’s side window, sending broken glass flying through the car.

It all happened so quickly but at the time, it felt like slow motion.

Molly expertly got the car pulled over and I reached up to wipe glass off my face and felt something wet.

Blood.

I’m bleeding.

I’M BLEEDING!!!!

My face is cut!

I’M MANGLED!!!!

I’m screaming at Molly that my face is apparently hanging from my skull and she quickly turned on the light.

“Your fine”

What?????

How can I be fine?

I’M BLEEDING!!!

“Check the mirror”

Slowly I flipped the mirror down, afraid of the mess I was going to find looking back at me.

THE HORROR!!!

I bravely looked up at my reflection.

And there it was.

The source of all the blood.

The injury to end all injuries.

That glass had flown in the window and cut the scab right off my fever blister!

Overreact much????

Now the adventure really began.

A couple of rednecks pulled over to see if the deer was ok.

They may or may not have remembered to ask about OUR well-being.

So there we were, about 3 hours from home, late at night, in the freezing November air with a busted out window.

And to top it off, this was in the days before cell phones so we drove to the next exit and found a pay phone to call Dad.  He told us to find a hardware store and get some plastic and duct tape.

So we asked the gas station dude for directions but all he cared about was whether the deer was hurt or killed.  We told him the rednecks beat him to it and were probably already gnawing on it.

At the hardware store, we explained our predicament and asked where we might find plastic and duct tape.

You know what those guys at the store said????

“How many points was it?”

I don’t know………….a THOUSAND points!!!!

WHERE’S THE TAPE???????

We found the tape and since I’ve made this short story long, let me just say that we got home safe and sound.

And my face was fine, by the way……

Thanks for askin’.

~Mish~

 

Music to my Ears

music

I love music.

When I was a kid, my family always had the TV tuned to The Gospel Singing Jubilee on Sunday morning and we would sing along as we got ready for church.

And I loved singing hymns at church each week…….When We All Get To Heaven, Old Rugged Cross, Just As I Am.

All through school, I was singing in chorus.  While I was in high school, Mrs. Jenkins, our chorus teacher, would let us come into the chorus room during lunch and we’d sing while someone played the piano.

I’ve just always loved music.

So now as an adult, I love to teach the little ones some of the songs we learned at church camp or at Girl Scouts.

Some are serious songs but most are silly songs; like Hillbilly Will and High Silk Hat and Had A Little Dog, Skinny As A Rail.  We even taught Shelby the song about the little cabin in the woods and it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized it was a song all about hunters killing bunnies in the woods!

What kinda bloody massacre songs were we being taught, anyway?!?!?!?!?!

And now these songs just pop into my head at random times.

Most every conversation I have reminds me of a song.

Today was no exception.

Today I walked into the bathroom at work and wouldn’t you know, the dude before me didn’t lock the door.

The dude before me was still taking care of business.

The dude before me was, well, BEFORE ME!!!

And what do you think I did?

I backed out of that bathroom humming “Oh be careful little eyes what you see”.

Happy Monday and be sure to double-check the lock! 🙂

~Mish~

 

 

 

Ah………fall

fall

I love fall.

I love the cooler temperatures.

I love the beautiful colors.

I love the crunch of the fallen leaves.

I LOVE IT!

And Taj loves it too.

He loves that he’s not so bloomin’ hot with all his furriness and the other day I even saw him dive off the patio into a pile of leaves.

So happy and so cute!!

Then the Mr. showed up.

The Mr. and his big idea.

His idea to get all those leaves raked up.

Who put him in charge anyway????

Apparently all of our neighbors had already raked their leaves but we had been waiting for these two big ole trees to let go of their golden leaves so we only had to do this once.

The Mr. knew it would take a miracle to get me out there one time let alone twice!

And finally that day arrived.

Those trees were naked as jaybirds so we set to work.

We raked and raked and then raked some more.

We piled those leaves on an old tarp and carried it around to the front yard and left pile after pile for the mystery guy who sucks up the leaves.

How cool would that be to drive around town sucking up leaves???

What do these leaf suckers do in the winter, spring and summer when there are no leaves to suck???

And what happens if you accidently suck up something other than leaves???

These are just some of the questions that keep me up at night!

It ain’t easy bein’ me.

We worked and worked and slowly but surely we could see grass again.

And I tried………I really tried………..to not complain too much.

After all, it was Veterans Day and I am sure that somewhere in the world are brave men and women who would give ANYTHING to be home raking leaves so even though I got a MASSIVE blister on my hand, I kept my big mouth shut.

Well, mostly shut.

I did, however, take a couple of pictures to share with you.

This first one is of MY leaf pile:

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And this one is the Mr.’s pile:

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What a slacker!  🙂

This is a picture of our supervisor who was NOT thrilled that all his leaves were gone:

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And sure enough, by the next day, that mystery sucker had come by and all traces of my hard work had vanished.

Oh well, there’s always next year! 🙂

~Mish~

Special Guest Post

Hi.

My name is Taj and since my mom has been such a slacker, I decided I would take over this here blog-thing.

I’ve been aware for some time now that my parents are WEIRD but every year in the fall, they do the most bizarre thing………..they buy a bunch of delicious candy and give it right out to these little monsters who just randomly ring our doorbell.

What’s up with THAT???

And even though some of them are downright SCARY, my mom just gives them a handful of candy!

FOR NO GOOD REASON!

This year, one freaky little ladybug kid tried to climb over my gate and TOUCH me!!!

Makes me shudder just to think of those sticky little fingers in my furry fur.

And for some strange and odd reason my mom bought way too much candy and she won’t let me have any of it!!

No matter how much I beg.

But last week, I came close.

Soooooo close.

Take a look………

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That’s when my mom swooped in and the candy disappeared.

IMG_20131107_205646

But never fear.

I know where she hid it and I also know that my dad will have another snack attack very soon and I’ll give it another try.

I’ll let you know how it goes! 🙂

~Taj~

P.S.  Once my mom comes out of her candy-coma she’ll have more stories to share with you.  Stay tuned!