What a crazy month December was!
Not crazy crazy (or as the youngun’s say “cray cray”) but just crazy.
We’ve had birthdays and anniversaries, parties and visitors, Christmas and New Year’s, New York and county clubs.
All in one short little month.
And boy, are my arms tired!
Oh but that’s a story for another day.
Today I want to tell you about how Jimmy tried to kill me.
Yes, I know, I have all sorts of conspiracies about all manner of different people who have tried to kill me but this one happens to be true!
The day after Christmas, the Mr. and I headed off to the Wonderful World of the Snow People (aka Western NY). We did ok on the traveling part but I became concerned that every few hours Andrew would text me “have you seen any snow yet?”. That should have been the first clue to turn that buggy around!!!
But, alas, the Mr. ain’t sceared of no snow, so onward and upward!
Around Erie, PA, I felt the need to make a pit stop but since it was starting to flurry I decided I didn’t want to stop. I could make it.
Then we crossed the state line into NY and all manor of heck broke loose!!!
It was a complete and utter whiteout and when traffic on the interstate slowed down to 20 mph, I began the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth that goes with my terrible decision to NOT STOP IN ERIE PA!!!
But we finally made it to my in-laws and after a rather flimsy “howdy-do” I ran (shoes and all) into the powder room just in the nick of time!
We had a great visit with the kids and the in-laws and the nieces and the Fierce’s and I think, I THINK, I may have even agreed to host a “Cousin’s Camp” this summer for my 5 nieces.
I apparently was a little drunk on Mt. Dew at the time so it’s all a bit hazy.
With a good visit warming our hearts, we headed back to God’s Country and had only a slight issue with a snow storm in Ohio. Mistake-on-the-Lake indeed!
But “home again, home again, jiggety-jog”.
After years of traveling with the Mr., I finally bent to his way of thinking and immediately unpacked all our bags FIRST THING and then was ready to veg in front of the TV with our Taj, who stayed behind with my parents. Side note: it did NOT go well.
Of course, that brings up the question…..what we gonna eat????
Since we had no food in the house and since I wouldn’t have wanted to cook it even if we had it, I suggested one of our go-to places: Jimmy Johns. They have good subs and they deliver it right to the house really fast.
So Monday night, I go to bed feeling just fine and dandy and super excited that I had two more days off ahead of me.
Then I woke up.
I’m not sure what time it was but I believe it was around 1:30 am.
Wow, was my tummy hurting.
So I stumble to the potty.
I get back to bed and fall immediately back to sleep.
I’m awake again.
Same pain. Same tummy.
Once again, I head back to the bathroom but this time I couldn’t decide whether to sit or lean over the bowl.
This is NOT a good situation!
I sit and suddenly I felt light headed.
My head was swimming.
My eyes were tunneling.
All I could think of was “This is it. This is how I’m going to die”
So I did the only thing I could do.
I started to plead to the Almighty to PLEASE hold me up on that toilet and PLEASE don’t let me fall off and hit my head and PLEASE don’t let paramedics find my corpse in this predicament!!!
You know……the usual stuff.
I finally figured out that I needed to finish up as fast as possible and lower myself from my seated position on the stool to the floor without killing myself in the process.
After lying on the cold floor for a while, I was able to get back up and fling myself into bed.
This is when the Mr. wakes up.
“Are you ok?”
“No, I’m sick.”
Then the room goes quiet.
I think he’s fallen back to sleep.
“Who were you talking to in there?????”
Oh, I see.
You thought I was praying silently.
How silly of you!!
Happy New Year, ya’ll.
And steer clear of Jimmy!! 🙂