SAFE!

sliding

Way back in the olden days of December, 2013, I went to a work conference, leaving the Mr. and Taj home alone to fend for themselves.  They did pretty good but I was anxious to get home.

The day I got back was a rainy ole day and my co-worker dropped me off at the house before the Mr. got home.  Taj was glad to see me and I was happy to be back home.

I barely got into the house, dropped my bags off in the entryway and fell on the couch for a little nap before the Mr. got home wondering what was for supper.

Besides……….I had shows to catch up on!!

While Taj & I were dozing, the doorbell rang.

Now, Taj is a pretty good little dog but nothing gets him more stirred up than the doorbell.

Unless it’s a dog walking by the house.

Or a bird on the windowsill.

Or a Pupperoni.

Or just about ANY food.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that dog when ballistic!!!!

Scared me right out of my skin!

Since it was Christmas time and I pride myself in ordering ALL my gifts online, I knew it was probably a mountain of packages.

So I waited for the delivery guy to drive away (he’s a ring-the-bell-and-walk-away kind of guy) then I headed to the side door where he usually leaves our stuff.

Nothing.

So I go to the front door.

Nothing.

That’s weird!!

Where are my packages????

I slipped on my shoes head out the door to see if I can find my ding-dong boxes.

I checked around the bushes.

I walked down the sidewalk to check around the chairs on the side porch.

As I’m heading back up the walk to the front door, I think…..GARAGE.

At this point its drizzling so I picked up my pace and headed toward the garage.

Unfortunately, being the graceful flower that I am (read that “bull in china shop”), my right foot only landed half on the walk.

Cue the slow motion…….

I tried to catch myself with one foot now on the grass and the other on the walk but I was moving way too fast (I’m so light on my feet, ya’ll) and I did kind of a cartoon wave of my arms as my upper body started over my lower half.

It was sort of a running airplane move that means only one thing:

She’s goin’ down!!!

Remember how I told you it was a rainy day?  Well, when I hit the ground, I slid a good way along the grass.

But it weren’t all grass!

It was MUD!!

When I finally landed, I was face down in the wet and mushy mud, too stunned to do anything but lay there.

Then I remembered my neighbors.

Since most of them are retired, I wondered how many of them were watching from their windows, Gladys-Kravitz-style.

But if they were, shame be upon every one of them ‘cause NOBODY came out to help me!!!

I got up and looked down at myself and saw that I was a muddy mess:

 IMG_20131205_162203

 

And after 5 washes, I still can’t get the mud out of that pink blouse!  😦

I’ve always wondered what could make a grown man playing baseball slide head first into home plate.  After doing it myself, I’ve gotta say, I’m stumped.

Not only do you get filthy dirty……

It HURTS!!!!

~Mish~

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