Way back in the olden days of December, 2013, I went to a work conference, leaving the Mr. and Taj home alone to fend for themselves.  They did pretty good but I was anxious to get home.

The day I got back was a rainy ole day and my co-worker dropped me off at the house before the Mr. got home.  Taj was glad to see me and I was happy to be back home.

I barely got into the house, dropped my bags off in the entryway and fell on the couch for a little nap before the Mr. got home wondering what was for supper.

Besides……….I had shows to catch up on!!

While Taj & I were dozing, the doorbell rang.

Now, Taj is a pretty good little dog but nothing gets him more stirred up than the doorbell.

Unless it’s a dog walking by the house.

Or a bird on the windowsill.

Or a Pupperoni.

Or just about ANY food.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that dog when ballistic!!!!

Scared me right out of my skin!

Since it was Christmas time and I pride myself in ordering ALL my gifts online, I knew it was probably a mountain of packages.

So I waited for the delivery guy to drive away (he’s a ring-the-bell-and-walk-away kind of guy) then I headed to the side door where he usually leaves our stuff.


So I go to the front door.


That’s weird!!

Where are my packages????

I slipped on my shoes head out the door to see if I can find my ding-dong boxes.

I checked around the bushes.

I walked down the sidewalk to check around the chairs on the side porch.

As I’m heading back up the walk to the front door, I think…..GARAGE.

At this point its drizzling so I picked up my pace and headed toward the garage.

Unfortunately, being the graceful flower that I am (read that “bull in china shop”), my right foot only landed half on the walk.

Cue the slow motion…….

I tried to catch myself with one foot now on the grass and the other on the walk but I was moving way too fast (I’m so light on my feet, ya’ll) and I did kind of a cartoon wave of my arms as my upper body started over my lower half.

It was sort of a running airplane move that means only one thing:

She’s goin’ down!!!

Remember how I told you it was a rainy day?  Well, when I hit the ground, I slid a good way along the grass.

But it weren’t all grass!

It was MUD!!

When I finally landed, I was face down in the wet and mushy mud, too stunned to do anything but lay there.

Then I remembered my neighbors.

Since most of them are retired, I wondered how many of them were watching from their windows, Gladys-Kravitz-style.

But if they were, shame be upon every one of them ‘cause NOBODY came out to help me!!!

I got up and looked down at myself and saw that I was a muddy mess:



And after 5 washes, I still can’t get the mud out of that pink blouse!  😦

I’ve always wondered what could make a grown man playing baseball slide head first into home plate.  After doing it myself, I’ve gotta say, I’m stumped.

Not only do you get filthy dirty……

It HURTS!!!!



One thought on “SAFE!

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