My Mane Problem

My hair has plagued me my whole life.

It’s not that I don’t have enough.

I have plenty.

And it’s not even the color, which I think is mousey-brown though after all the coloring I’ve done to it, who really remembers??

The problem is that it is fine as can be and straight as a stick.

Oh, I’ve tried over the years to do something about it.

I’ve hot-rolled.

I’ve permed.

I’ve slept on pink sponge rollers.

I’ve teased to within an inch of its very life.

And, oh Heavenly Lord, the hairspray!!!!

I’ve even endured bobby pin curls in my hair and SLEPT ON THEM!!!

bobby pin curls

For the  record, there is no pain in the world like a mother jamming bobby pins in your head with absolutely no regard for your discomfort.

And how did those lovely curls turn out the next day????

Not curly at all.

Just a big ole frizzy mess.

Of course, it would have helped if Mom didn’t insist on brushing that head into a rats nest complete with pieces of hair that refused to curl and hung straight down from the fuzziness.


And oh yes, this was every year on school picture day!!

But all these attempts at hair control have been for naught.  After 46 years, I still struggle with my hair every single day and even contemplate calling in sick on some especially bad hair days.

And today was one of those days!

It’s one thing to go to work with bad hair but I’ve got plans for tonight.

I’m meeting a whole passel of cousins and aunts and female family members for a McLean Relative Ladies Night Out.  It’s gonna be big fun except that I have cousins with really good hair.  In fact, one of my cousins is actually my hair dresser.

Is that still a term people use???

Hair dresser?

Or is it hair stylist?

Whatever, Christi is my hair-fixer-upper and since I have yet to convince her to come to my house every morning to fixer-upper me, I’m left to face the cold, cruel world with whatever hairdo shows up.

But I’ve got to hand it to Christi.

Whenever she sees me, she’ll say “your hair looks good”.

I know deep down she’s thinking “Bless her heart” while sitting there with what must be the cutest hair on God’s green earth!

Oh well, once I spill food on my shirt, nobody will notice the hair! 🙂





3 thoughts on “My Mane Problem

  1. Oh! I forgot to say you are absolutely right about those bobby pin curls. I cringe just thinkin’ about Mom poking those into my head. I always wanted to tell her, “when you hit resistance, that would be my head so STOP!” But, I was never brave enough.

  2. Oops, I don’t think my first comment went through. I was saying the spill should come sometime within the first 5 minutes! No doubt!!! And I was extra picky about my hair today too since we’re seeing all of those lovely cousins tonight. I’m sure yours is mahvelous dahling! 🙂

  3. Oh, girl. I can’t wait to see your hair and if you want, I’ll sit next to ya and my hair can take the focus off your hair. Oh, and I’ll inevitably spill something on my shirt too.

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