Grammy Recap

Photo: Rickey Yaneza

Photo: Rickey Yaneza

I’m not hip.

I’m not cool.

I’m not even “totes jelly” or whatever the kids are saying these days.

I’ve tried over the years.

I used to read People magazine every week cover to cover to stay up on all the goings on.  Sadly, I bought one recently and didn’t recognize half the “celebrities” in the whole book!!

I mean, I hadn’t even HEARD of them!!!

Where did these folks come from and where was I????

Oh yeah…..I was too cheap to buy a subscription and they sneaked by me!!

So this year I decided to do something I’ve never done in all my 40+ years of life.

I decided to watch the Grammy Awards.

Or “Grammys” to us movers and shakers!

I figured I would have somewhat of an advantage over the Mr. because I listen to pop music at work.  I don’t have a radio at my desk but I eavesdrop on my co-workers tunes.

So the program starts and I settle in to watch.

Beyonce was first up.


I’ve heard of her.

And I knew her husband was supposed to join her so I figured “what a wholesome, family-oriented way to start the show”.

I could not have been more wrong.

I’m here to tell you that there weren’t nothin’ wholesome OR family-oriented in that performance!!

There was Beyonce wearing barely any clothes and doing some sort of contortions on a kitchen chair.

What in this world?!?!?!?!?!?!

I wear more clothes than that in the SWIMMING POOL!!!

And that is NOT how we sit in a kitchen chair, young lady!!

The Mr. had wandered into the room during this display and finally asked “Do you like this?”

I said “I don’t understand one word she’s singing!!”

We turned it.

But I was determined to be “with it” so I eventually turned it back.

Finally, a song I recognized from the radio.

Have you ever heard someone speak or sing and when you actually SEE them, they are nothing like what you imagined???

Well, that’s how I felt when I watched this young 17-year-old girl sing her hit song while having what can only be described as an epileptic spell.

We turned it.

When the Mr. left the room for a snack, I turned back.


I like Pink.

She’s got a good voice even if I don’t always like her lyrics.

And she was good……until she let some dude (who I don’t even know) sing with her and he ruined the whole thing.  Wow, was he bad.

The Mr. came back.

We turned it.

The next time I flipped it back, these two robot guys were coming onstage to accept an award.

Is there a category for robot guys???

These dudes apparently won Album of the Year.


Of all the albums out there, these robot guys win for the best album of the whole ding-dong year!

Photo:  Getty via Just Jared

Photo: Getty

What is this world coming to???

And to top it off, their big hit was one I actually knew.

See, when I, the hippest hipster known to man, hear Daft Punk sing “Get Lucky” I think they are singing “Mexican monkey”, which actually is a better lyric.

{If you’ve never heard the song, don’t bother.  It’s filthy!}

Best album?

I think not!

And guess what?

We turned it.

Not one to give up easily, I gave the Grammys one last shot.

Just as I turned the channel back to the show, a rapper was doing his thing.  I have no idea who it was or what he was rapping about but all the Mr. heard was “my momma” and off that TV went!

The Mr. has a fast trigger finger!

But I guess the Mr. can’t leave a song (or rap) undone because he finished the rap himself.

I wish to goodness that I had recorded what came next but I was laughing so hard at the Mr.’s rap that I almost missed it entirely.

Here’s a paraphrase:

“My momma said, Boy your drinking too much

milk with your cereal so I flipped my bowl in her face

wrote down this song while she was hollerin’

hoping to make a million doller-in”

And since that was the best song/rap we had heard all night, we went to bed.






2 thoughts on “Grammy Recap

  1. LOL…I just had a few good laughs…and I just really can’t imagine John “rapping” 🙂
    Well, I know Toriana will have a great time at the Cousin Camp this summer and especially with her Aunt Marsha because whenever that song comes on the radio she sings “I grew up on Mexican Lucky, I grew up on Mexican Lucky” LOL

  2. LOVE you and the ‘Mr.’ Many years ago, Aunt Betty (as in Cara’s mom) said “I like that song, ‘way down south’.” I said, that’s not what the song says…’s ‘Lay down Sally’ and that was the end of that!! (after much laughter, as you can imagine)

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