Grammy Recap

Photo: Rickey Yaneza

Photo: Rickey Yaneza

I’m not hip.

I’m not cool.

I’m not even “totes jelly” or whatever the kids are saying these days.

I’ve tried over the years.

I used to read People magazine every week cover to cover to stay up on all the goings on.  Sadly, I bought one recently and didn’t recognize half the “celebrities” in the whole book!!

I mean, I hadn’t even HEARD of them!!!

Where did these folks come from and where was I????

Oh yeah…..I was too cheap to buy a subscription and they sneaked by me!!

So this year I decided to do something I’ve never done in all my 40+ years of life.

I decided to watch the Grammy Awards.

Or “Grammys” to us movers and shakers!

I figured I would have somewhat of an advantage over the Mr. because I listen to pop music at work.  I don’t have a radio at my desk but I eavesdrop on my co-workers tunes.

So the program starts and I settle in to watch.

Beyonce was first up.

Good.

I’ve heard of her.

And I knew her husband was supposed to join her so I figured “what a wholesome, family-oriented way to start the show”.

I could not have been more wrong.

I’m here to tell you that there weren’t nothin’ wholesome OR family-oriented in that performance!!

There was Beyonce wearing barely any clothes and doing some sort of contortions on a kitchen chair.

What in this world?!?!?!?!?!?!

I wear more clothes than that in the SWIMMING POOL!!!

And that is NOT how we sit in a kitchen chair, young lady!!

The Mr. had wandered into the room during this display and finally asked “Do you like this?”

I said “I don’t understand one word she’s singing!!”

We turned it.

But I was determined to be “with it” so I eventually turned it back.

Finally, a song I recognized from the radio.

Have you ever heard someone speak or sing and when you actually SEE them, they are nothing like what you imagined???

Well, that’s how I felt when I watched this young 17-year-old girl sing her hit song while having what can only be described as an epileptic spell.

We turned it.

When the Mr. left the room for a snack, I turned back.

Pink.

I like Pink.

She’s got a good voice even if I don’t always like her lyrics.

And she was good……until she let some dude (who I don’t even know) sing with her and he ruined the whole thing.  Wow, was he bad.

The Mr. came back.

We turned it.

The next time I flipped it back, these two robot guys were coming onstage to accept an award.

Is there a category for robot guys???

These dudes apparently won Album of the Year.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR!

Of all the albums out there, these robot guys win for the best album of the whole ding-dong year!

Photo:  Getty via Just Jared

Photo: Getty

What is this world coming to???

And to top it off, their big hit was one I actually knew.

See, when I, the hippest hipster known to man, hear Daft Punk sing “Get Lucky” I think they are singing “Mexican monkey”, which actually is a better lyric.

{If you’ve never heard the song, don’t bother.  It’s filthy!}

Best album?

I think not!

And guess what?

We turned it.

Not one to give up easily, I gave the Grammys one last shot.

Just as I turned the channel back to the show, a rapper was doing his thing.  I have no idea who it was or what he was rapping about but all the Mr. heard was “my momma” and off that TV went!

The Mr. has a fast trigger finger!

But I guess the Mr. can’t leave a song (or rap) undone because he finished the rap himself.

I wish to goodness that I had recorded what came next but I was laughing so hard at the Mr.’s rap that I almost missed it entirely.

Here’s a paraphrase:

“My momma said, Boy your drinking too much

milk with your cereal so I flipped my bowl in her face

wrote down this song while she was hollerin’

hoping to make a million doller-in”

And since that was the best song/rap we had heard all night, we went to bed.

~Mish~

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Grammy Recap

  1. LOL…I just had a few good laughs…and I just really can’t imagine John “rapping” 🙂
    Well, I know Toriana will have a great time at the Cousin Camp this summer and especially with her Aunt Marsha because whenever that song comes on the radio she sings “I grew up on Mexican Lucky, I grew up on Mexican Lucky” LOL

  2. LOVE you and the ‘Mr.’ Many years ago, Aunt Betty (as in Cara’s mom) said “I like that song, ‘way down south’.” I said, that’s not what the song says…..it’s ‘Lay down Sally’ and that was the end of that!! (after much laughter, as you can imagine)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s