Speedy Costello

Speedy Gonzales

I drive like a grandma.

I didn’t always but due to circumstances totally within my control, I’ve become the kind of driver that annoys even me!

I think it all started because I’ve been pulled over a time or two back in my younger days and the thought of a ticket scares me to death.

Plus when I lived in the Frozen Tundra, I stopped driving when the first snowflake fell (around August) and didn’t drive again until the thaw of July.

So now I’m just a Nervous Nellie out there on the road.

I’m sure you’ve passed me.

Probably while riding a skateboard, according to my beloved!

The last time the Mr. asked me to drive part of the way home from NY, when we switched back he said “Now we’ll make up some of the time we lost”.

Of course, in my defense, I failed to realize that to him, it’s a race!

I’m not sure who exactly we’re racing, but we’ve got to make better time than the other “contestants”.

But before you get too bad a picture of me in your head, let me assure you that I do go the speed limit (mostly).  And that’s because when Dad was teaching each of us kids to drive, he told us “if you can’t go at least the speed limit, you got no business behind the wheel” so I try to keep that in mind.

When I was in college a bunch of us decided to go out to the lake late one night.   At the time, Marti and I shared a car.

And by car, I mean a big car.

And by big car, I mean a great big car.

We had a blue 1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass.


It was tricked out.

And by tricked out, I mean it had an 8-track player!

Very stylish for 1985.

So that night we loaded up in that big ole boat and took off.

Did I mention that the car had bucket seats in the front?

Did I also mention that we had 3 people crammed into those bucket seats?

And did I mention that the reason we had 3 people crammed into those bucket seats was because we had 5 or 6 people in the back?

As a matter of fact, one person was laying across all the others in the back.

But we were having fun so we took off.

That’s when I saw the blue lights.

I immediately start to tear up because I’m a world-class-crier and because, oh my goodness, what if Mom & Dad find out????

That’s when my friends started yelling at me to get out of the car and do NOT let the police man see all that gob of people in the car!

So ever one to give in to peer pressure, I hopped out of the car to “meet” the cop.

Did ya’ll know that the police don’t like when you hop out????

Well I sure didn’t!

I thought I was gonna get cuffed right then and there but once that police guy saw my tears, he gave me a warning and never did walk up to the car and see all those folks piled in there.

Needless to say, the trip to the lake was over and one of my friends drove us back to campus.  I was in no shape to drive what with all the tears.

And I’ve been a chicken driver ever since!


#1 Let me just say here that there was absolutely NO alcohol involved in this stupid stunt; we were just THAT stupid!!!


#2 Marti was in no way involved in this incident.  She wasn’t even in the car and I’m quite sure she’s just now hearing this story for the first time.  And that’s mostly because at the time I was as scared of her as I was of Mom & Dad.  You see, Marti is a hitter.  Actually she’s more of a slapper. If you ever hear that girl say she’s slap happy, get the heck out of dodge!  Cause she does indeed slap when she’s happy!!!!  TRUST ME!!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I’m fully aware that the little guy at the top is actually Speedy Gonzales but when Marc was a kid he called him Speedy Costello.

He also had a problem with “Sippity” Sam.

Yosemite Sam

Bless his heart!






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