Tag Archive | 50

100 here I come!

Well, the day is almost here.

I can deny it all I want but it’s coming.

THE day.

FIFTY.

How can that be????

So now I’m trying to decide……….

……………..how do I want to express my mid-life crisis???

Of course, the Mr. likes to point out that we are BEYOND mid-life.

Really???

That’s so hateful.

I may live to be 100.

You don’t know!!!

I’ve narrowed it down to two things:  a mini tattoo OR a radical hairstyle change.

It’s tough because one of those choices is more painful than the other.

I mean, have you ever tried to grow out bangs?????

PAIN…..FUL!!!

The Mr. suggested that I go completely blonde.

He’s so full of helpful thoughts.

But I vetoed that right quick.

I’ve got plenty of yellow-headed people in my life.

Plus, blondes don’t have near as much fun as they provide entertainment for the rest of us brown-headed folks.

I’ve got a ton of stories about my blonde sister but I’ve got to share this one about my friend Erica.

Erica is one of the Fierces and we’ve had lots of laughs over the years.

Like the time her chest butted me out the door of our office right into a crowd of Amish folks.

Or the time Jane and I teamed up to scare her (at work, of course) and she screamed and put her trashcan on her head.

That girl is a hoot and a HALF!!!

Anyway, one day we were headed down the hallway at work, and our boss stopped us to ask for some information.  She had a big-wig attorney with her and we were all trying to put on our most professional demeanor.  Well, when she asked Erica for something, Erica told her she would get it right away, turned and walked right into the wall.

I mean, she WALKED into that wall.

Hard.

When she bounced off the wall, we all just busted a gut.

Did I mention that we worked at a hospital?????

We’re so very professional.

But before you get the impression that only blondes do silly things, let me tell you about Mrs. Gore’s daughter.

Mrs. Gore writes a blog that I thoroughly enjoy.  I even follow her on the Facebook.  She’s got 4 precious children and another on the way.  If you get a chance, check out Mrs. Gore’s Diary.

One of her kids (a brunette of all things) does so many dingy things that Mrs. Gore has nicknamed her “Oh Honey”.

Now if you’re from the South, you know what that means.

Kinda like “bless her heart”.

One day my blonde sister pointed out that my little blonde Winston was the Oh Honey in our family.

And I do believe she’s right.

The Mr. and I have decided that enough is a dag-on ‘nough of these barking, begging dogs at mealtime.

I mean ENOUGH!!!!

Taj is usually the problem while Winston just sits there waiting for us to respond to Taj.

But we did some online research about breaking the habit and decided that the Dog Whisperer was on the right track.

Now when we eat, there is no talking to the dogs, no eye contact and no physical contact.

That is, of course, until the Mr. can’t take any more and yells QUIET at the top of his lungs, which is NOT how you whisper to dogs.

It’s working like a charm.

So Taj is finally getting the hint and he will stay somewhat quiet.

But Winston has decided to take up the slack.

He just doesn’t get it and he barks and barks until he gets himself choked up and then he coughs and coughs.

The other night I had to put a stop to it!

So I got up from the table, walked into the dining room with Winston following me.  I doubled back and closed the pocket door before he could come back into the kitchen.  I sat back down and sure enough, the barking continued.

That little cutie barked and barked.

And then coughed and coughed.

And then barked and barked.

The Mr. finally looks at me and says, “Does he not realize that he can come around to the other door?”

Apparently not!

Oh Honey.

Winston7

~Mish~

 

 

Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen

wednesday

This has been one heck of a week.

And it’s only Wednesday!!

It started out with the Mr. finding some charges on our bank statement that he knew nothing about.

Now, I know what ya’ll are thinking……Mish has been shopping!

But let me assure you that it wasn’t me.

I cannot stand shopping.

I mean, I’ll do it if I have to.

I go to buy groceries and whatnot but let me tell you, I complain loud and long about it!!

LOUD and LONG!!!

My poor friend, Lynne, hears me gripe every week about having to go to Kroger and then when she sees my puny list she secretly wants to slap me.

Yes, it’s secretly but I can see it in her eyes!!

So anyway, the Mr. asked me about these charges (one for $60 and the other for $202) and I think he believed me when I told him that I didn’t do it.

But that meant a call to the bank, a call to the companies that were charged, a visit to the bank to dispute the charges and most importantly, cancelling my card.

See, it was MY card the perp used to STEAL from us.

He STOLE!!!

And that just ticks me off!!!

Of course, at first I thought this was a trick of the Mr.’s to make sure I don’t spend any more money but now I’m convinced it was some punk kid.  Both charges were for online gaming and were made by some dude named “Kevin”.

So for all you Kevin’s out there playing games online, I’m looking for you, you STEALER!!!

Then on Monday, I’m getting ready for work and watching/listening to the Today Program and I hear a story about some college professor who once killed his entire family and spent some time in a mental institution and now is living his life in another state under a different name.  I wouldn’t normally pay much attention to this story except that the reporter said that it happened in 1967, the year of my birth.

{He didn’t actually SAY it was the year of my birth….I added that part!}

And then that reporter just ticked me off!!!

He said something about the police investigation “nearly 50 years ago”.

FIFTY YEARS AGO????

I think NOT!!

I know he put that “nearly” in there but I’ll have you know that I am nowhere NEAR 50!!!!!

I am the spry young age of 45………..til later in the month.

I won’t be “near 50” until I’m 49 1/2, thank you very much!!

So between that silly reporter and dudes named “Kevin”, the weeks not off to a very good start.

I did, however, manage to get my not-anywhere-near-50 self to work and Lynne comes in to inform me that I’ve got my shirt on inside out!!

Really???

I can’t even get dressed!!!

Maybe I’m closer to 50 than I want to admit!

And if all that’s not bad enough for a horrible week, the Mr. suggests that we go for a little dip in the pool the last two nights.  It’s supposed to rain the rest of the week so we figured we better get in while the getting’s good.

So there I am just floating around on my pool noodles, minding my own business, and SMACK!

Right on the back.

What in this world?

I look at the Mr.

“Mosquito”

Yeah……….right.

SMACK!!!

Right on my face!

“Mosquito”

After I took quite a beating, I began to suspect that “mosquito” was just a flimsy excuse to strike me repeatedly about the head and shoulders!

But alas, I’ve got a slew of new itchy spots so I feel a little bad for smacking the Mr. back!

A “little” bad.  🙂

~Mish~