Tag Archive | medicine

Sick Day Essentials

I did kind of a crazy thing.

I think I may have accepted a challenge I didn’t want to accept.

I got a text from Molly yesterday to do 7 blog posts in 7 days.

I laughed.

Then this morning I read another blog extending the same 7 day challenge.

I guess this must be a thing.

So…..challenge accepted!!!

Unfortunately for all of you, these 7 blog posts will surely be fascinating and riveting accounts of the life of the Mr. and the Mish.

Lucky ya’ll.  🙂

I’ll start Day 1 with this past Friday.

I’ve had sickness.

I mean SICKNESS!!!

sick_girl

I really and truly wish spring would hurry up but for Pete’s sake, leave my sinuses alone!!!

While living in exile in NY I had forgotten all the stuffy, drippy, sore-throaty goodness that comes from a KY existence.

So by Thursday evening, I felt like I had fire ants running up and down my throat.

It was ouchy to the max!!

By the time my alarm went off on Friday those ants had multiplied like rabbits (fire rabbits that is!) and I had a slight fever.

Now fevers are a tricky thing.

I don’t usually run a fever even though I sometimes feel fever-ish.  And my fever on Friday would never pass the “Mom Test”.

See, when I was a kid, the ONLY way we could stay home from school was if we had a fever.

It didn’t matter that we vomited.

She’d say “Now you’ll feel better.  Go to school.”

It didn’t matter that we passed out cold in the shower.

She’d say “You’re conscious now.  Go to school.”

And I’m sure that even with a fever she’d try to send us to school but she knew that if the school nurse got wind of the fever, she’d be called to come get us in the middle of the day.

She did NOT like the mid-day-pick-up!

I remember once that happened when I was in either kindergarten or first grade.  I came down with a mysterious sickness during the late morning.  Mom came to get me and when we got home she gave me a half a honey and white bread sandwich.

Yes, that’s right.

Honey and white bread.

Is there really any doubt as to my struggle with weight?????

Anywho, after eating my sandwich I experienced a miraculous recovery.

So back to school I went!

Along with a threat to never try that trick again!!

It wasn’t a trick.

I was hungry, apparently.

But since Mom wasn’t at my house on Friday morning and I didn’t have any white bread for a honey sandwich, I made the executive decision to stay home.

While I laid on my deathbed, I came up with a few essentials for when you’re home sick:

  1.  A couch-bed.  All you need for this is some clean, crisp sheets and a big ole blanket to make the ultimate bed on the living room couch.  And what husband doesn’t love walking into his house after a long day to find his sickly, pale wife lying on the couch under a pile of crumpled Kleenex with another Kleenex shoved up her nose to catch the drips from her stuffier-than-stuffed sinuses.  Very attractive.
  2. A burn-y Diet Coke.  Now you all know I’m a Mt. Dew lover but when I’m sick, especially with a sore throat, all I need is a Diet Coke that burns on the way down!  The best place to get one is McDonald’s.  I’m not sure why theirs burns so good but you can’t beat it. And I’m told it’s the same with regular Coke; though I’d rather drink dirty dishwater than a regular Coke. The added advantage of a burn-y Diet Coke is that all the built up sinus gunk in your throat gets melted away.  You know it’s working by the burn!
  3. A bendy straw.  I don’t think I really need to explain this one.  Bendy straws are just awesome!  But be sure not to confuse a bendy straw with a crazy straw.  Crazy straws are strictly for the healthy; they are way too exciting for the infirm.  Unfortunately, I didn’t have any bendy straws on Friday, which probably added a whole other day to my recovery.  Oh well.  I’ll stock up on my next shopping trip.
  4. A Frosty.  This is perhaps the most important item on the list.  As I’ve told you before, on the rare occasion that we stayed home from school, Me-maw would come by at lunch and bring us a Frosty.  I’m not sure the medical community has caught up to her cure for what ails you, but a Frosty will make you feel better way before cough medicine & Tylenol.

And to make sure that I got better as quick as possible, that wonderful Mr. brought me a Frosty when he came home from work.

He even bought himself one as preventive medicine.

He’s good like that!

See ya’ll tomorrow (I hope!).

~Mish~

 

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Dr. Me-maw

Do ya’ll have a Me-maw?

Well I did and I think everybody should have one.

Me-maw always had the answer.  No matter what the question.  Me-maw knew what was what!

Years ago before the Mr. and I got hitched, I was having all manner of health issues and was in and out of various and sundry doctor’s offices.  It was exhausting!  Well, one day I developed a toe pain, not to be confused with a “toe pick” (name that movie!) so on one of my many outings to the doc, I asked what could be causing me such pain.  I could barely walk and it hurt to even put my shoe on.  Weird!  The doctor did all kinds of blood tests and x-rays and I don’t know what-all and it was decided that, well, he just didn’t know. 

So that night Me-maw came to visit and I asked, kinda sarcastically, “Me-maw, do you know any home remedy for a sore toe?  Should I boil some bark from a north facing tree and slather it on my foot???” 

Me-maw didn’t even skip a beat, “Why just soak some brown paper in vinegar and wrap it around your toe.”  As if we were discussing the weather!!!  Amazing!!!

So Mom found a brown bag and we cut it into strips, soaked it in vinegar and wrapped it around my toes.  I sat there stinking up the place the rest of the night and then went to bed thinking “what a joke”!!  Not only does my toe still hurt but now I reek of vinegar!!

The next morning, lo and behold, my foot pain was gone!!!  The swelling was gone!!!  The smell was………..well, the smell was still there but glory hallelujah IT WORKED!!!! 

I’m not sure why it worked but Dad remembered something in the nursery rhyme, “Jack and Jill” so I thought I’d share it with you:

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Up got Jack, and home did trot 
As fast as he could caper
He went to bed and bound his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

 Those rhymes aren’t just rhyme-y, they’re educational!!

Who knew????

But this is not the first home remedy of Me-maw’s that I’ve tried (or been forced to try).

For years, Mom has followed in Me-maw’s footsteps and at least twice a year dosed all of us kids with turpentine.

Yep, turpentine!

Well, it’s not exactly the paint thinner, though it does smell just like it.  It’s called Spirits of Turpentine.  I don’t know if that’s because its haunted or what but whatever it is, it’s NASTY!!!

Mom would take a spoonful of sugar, add a drop of turpentine and then a little water.  Then down the hatch!  The worst part (as if the actual mouthful wasn’t bad enough) is that you belch that stuff the rest of the day!!!

A spoonful of sugar may help the medicine go down but only the grace of God KEEPS it down!

I found this picture on e-bay.  It’s not exactly like Mom’s bottle but it’s really close.  I think it’s the original bottle that Me-maw used to poison treat Mom and her brothers. 

I think I should also point out that somewhere on the bottle, it says “For external use only”!  Mom just ignored that part!!!

Another handy home remedy that I use quite often didn’t come from Me-maw, though I’m sure she knew about it.  I heard this one from my older sister, Marti.  I figure that since Marti is a grandmother that maybe she learned this at the annual Grandmother’s Meeting where they get all these great tidbits to amaze their children and grandchildren.  Maybe one day I’ll be included in these meetings! 

HINT,HINT

Anyhow, Marti told me that if you have a bad cough at night, to rub Vicks Salve on the bottom of both feet and you won’t cough.  And it works!  GENIOUS!!!

So this week the Mr. has been hanging on to his sickness like a long lost friend.  He just can’t get over it.  The worst is the cough.  The Mr. has the loudest cough known to man!  It’s loud enough to make your ears ring.  It scares the dog.  It’s unruly and it must be stopped!!! 

Enter Vicks Salve.

Each night before we go to bed, I grab the Mr. by the ankles and slather his feet with the stuff!!!  And usually by the time I’m done, we are both collapsing in hysterics!

Why?

Because the Mr. is ticklish on the bottoms of his feet and I have so enjoyed prolonging his agony by rubbing his feet with cold Vicks!  It’sthe highlight of my day.  🙂

Of course, the fact that he makes me sing “Soft Kitty” when I’m done kinda takes the wind out of my sails!

~Mish~