Tag Archive | tattoos

Indians, Bumper Stickers and Tattoos

I had the best grandparents.

I mean, the BEST!

In the world!

I have many wonderful memories of all my grandparents but today I want to share a Me-maw memory.

Every summer B.M. (before Marc), Me-maw would take us girls to Old Fort Harrod in Harrodsburg to see the outdoor drama.  Back then, it was the Legend of Daniel Boone.  It was the story of how Daniel Boone came through the Cumberland Gap and stumbled upon the land of the bluegrass.

It’s not just music, people.

It’s Blue. Grass.

I know, looks green to me too, but they say that there is a blue-ish flower on it when it is allowed to grow wild and it makes the field look blue.

I’ve never seen it, but it’s on the interweb so it must be true!

Anyway, it was always very exciting to go to this outdoor theater and as we waited for darkness to fall, the anticipation would build until finally, just at dusk, these half-naked Indians would appear at the end of each row of the audience and I would jump out of my skin!!!!

ragged-edge-theater

(via Ragged Edge Theatre)

It was the scariest and most thrilling thing I had ever seen and it got me every year.

Now, before you fuss about me not calling them Native Americans, let me just say, I have issues.

I know…..you’re surprised!

Yes, the Indians were here from the beginning; hence, Native.

But so have I.

No, not the beginning of America but I was born and raised here and, therefore, I am indeed a Native American.

Apparently from the tribe of No Pigment.

Palest Indian tribe EVER!

But back to my story…..

Once those Indians scared folks to absolute death, we would settle in to the sort-of-boring play until the final battle scene at the end.  By this time, it’s completely dark and there are Indians and Settlers running all around.  There’s yelling and wah-wah-wah-ing and hatchets and rifles and gunpowder and smoke and burning forts and it was GREAT!!!!!

It was always the highlight of our summer.

But one year, the Old Fort Harrod folks messed up.

One year, they went too far.

One year, Me-maw got right ticked off.

After the show, we went out to the car, where low and BE-hold, some overzealous park employee had put a bumper sticker on EVERY CAR!

Every.

Car.

Even the Me-maw Mobile.

She was fit to be tied!

I have never seen her so mad but thankfully, the sticker hadn’t been on that long and she was able to get it off.

At least I think she did.

My little kid brain didn’t really process that part.

But now as an adult, I totally get it.

My car is bumper sticker free.

I just don’t understand putting a bumper sticker on your car.

I mean, cars are so stinkin’ expensive, why would you glue something to it that won’t come off?

And I REALLY don’t understand folks who put bumper stickers on the PAINT of their car.

bumper-stickers

Really????

On the paint????

And what happens when you want to sell your car but nobody wants a car with a failed politician’s very-outdated bumper sticker on the paint????

That’s just craziness!

Bumper Stickers are like tattoos.

You gotta be sure you want it/love it/support it cause it’s gonna be around a LONG time!

Of course, when it comes to window stickers, it’s a whole different ballgame

I’ve got one all picked out:

pom-window-sticker

I just need to decide if I want the window decal or the tattoo.  🙂

Happy 2017, everybody!

~Mish~

 

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Come And Knock On Our Door

I’ve been under the weather.

Not me, actually, but my computer.  It’s been all bug-ish and virus-y but I think, I THINK, it’s fixed.

So since I’ve been down and out this last week, my sister was kind enough to send me an e-mail from a couple of years ago that I had sent pertaining to a midnight visitor we had while living in NY and I thought I’d share it with you.

Just a couple of things you should know:

1.  The Mr.’s father lived with us at the time and since the Mr. and his dad share the same first name, my Fierce Friend’s dubbed him “Super Daddy”;

2.  The Fierce’s call the Mr.(aka John) “Big Daddy”;

3.  I have an apparent addiction to exclamation points!; and

d.  Andrew was in his room during this whole long ordeal and had no idea any of this was going on………..

Ok, here’s the story:

 “About 3 weeks ago on a Tuesday night, John and I were watching TV, Andrew was in his room, and Super Daddy wasn’t home.  So about 9:30 we decided to go up to watch TV in bed and then go to sleep early.  I was super tired!!!  

So we’re getting the lights & stuff turned off and our doorbell rings.  Thinking its SD returning with no house key, John goes to let him in.  Then I hear John say for me to come in there.  Standing on our sun porch is a young girl with a little t-shirt, sweats & no shoes and she’s crying like crazy.  She wants to use our phone.  Of course, I tell her to come on in the house and try to find out what we can do for her.  

When she comes into the house, I can smell that she is drunk as a skunk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She sits down and tries MANY times to dial the phone (the phone number she’s dialing is written on the back of her hand!) but she’s too drunk to dial right.  She’s cussin’ a blue streak and just blubberin’!!!!!  So I try to talk to her and ask if there is someone I can call for her or some place we can take her.  But she says no.  She can’t find her baby.  

Apparently, the baby daddy is sleeping with the girl across the street from us in the crack house!!!!  She dropped her kid (about 3 years old) with the dad and now she can’t find any of them!!!  So I ask if she wants me to call the cops but OH NO definitely she does not cause she’s afraid she’ll get arrested again!!!

AGAIN!!!  YIKES!!

She just keeps begging me to listen to her so I finally sit down at the table with her.  She is snortin’ and snottin’ around so I get a box of kleenex.  

When SD comes home a little bit after that, she’s sitting at the table all slouched down with her leg and bare foot ON THE TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And I’m telling you……….she reeks of alcohol!!!!!  

So she finally gets her friend on the phone and is yelling at her to call the girl across the street (who apparently this friend once had a lesbian affair with) and tell that $!@*& to give her the baby daddy back cause she loves him soooo much!!!!  She goes from crying to screaming and cursing this “friend” and begging her to help her get Mr. Wonderful back!!!!  Then she gives ME the phone to talk to her friend!!  

The friend is about 30 minutes away and won’t come get her but tells me she will call the girl’s mom over on Buffalo Street to come pick her up.  So she gets off the phone and she hears John and SD talking in the living room.  That freaks her out and she’s gets all paranoid that they are calling the cops.  I assure her that they are not but we would be glad to take her home.  She screams at me that she just wants me to listen to her!  So I do.  

She talks and talks about this “wonderful love of her life” who has given her a black eye (it was healing already so I’m not sure how old it was) and she can’t live without him.  Then she shows me the big ole bruises on the insides of both arms where the cops dragged her out of there apartment the previous weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She was arrested for harassment.  

Then she says “If I didn’t love him would I get this tattoo?”  and proceeds to pull down her pants to show me the tattoo on her butt cheek!!!  Then shows me the one in the FRONT!!!!!  LOW in the front!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  By the end of the night she has showed me both of them many, many times!!!!!  

I’m at this point praying as hard as I can that she will get outta my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So she calls her friend again……..more of the same……….crying, screaming, cursing, the whole nine yards!!  But this time she finds out (or I find out cause she keeps giving me the phone) that the kid is with the grandmother and is safe.  So I’m thinking……TIME TO GO HOME!!!  But she’s having none of it!!!!!  

She gets off the phone and needs to go to the bathroom.  I tell her its just around the corner (oh, I had given her a bottle of water at some point thinking maybe that would help sober her up a little…..what do I know about drunk people?????)  So she goes in the bathroom WITH THE PHONE and I step into the living room to tell John whats going on and turn around and she’s peeing with the door wide open and talking on the phone again!!!!!  YUCK!!!!  

I go back into the kitchen and sit down again and she comes out without washing her hands of course and keeps talking to her friend.  She’s starting to sway and stumble so she sits down…………on my lap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then stays there a good 5-10 minutes talking and sitting on my lap!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

So she finally gets up and after we talk a loooooonnnnnngggggggg while with me trying to witness to her a bit (not sure how much was getting through) and she seems at least a little more sober, then she calls this guy friend to come get her.  She tells him she’ll meet him outside so she gets off the phone and is looking for her purse, which she had left on the sun porch.  

We go out there and she says that she doesn’t even have shoes (she had left them next door for some strange and odd reason).  Then she looks over at my pile of shoes and wants to know whose pink shoes those are???  They were my flipflops I wear on the boat.  I got them at Wal-mart for $5 so I told her she could have them.  Then she says she has no jacket and its getting cold out.  So I go and get one of my older jackets that I rarely wear and tell her she can wear it.  It swallows her of course but she hugs me and I tell her I will be praying for her and she just crys and crys.  

So we go out on the sun porch again and she has a sudden thought that the baby daddy is probably at the bar in Silver Creek.  So she dials (from memory!) the bar’s number and asked for this guy (Charlie).  He’s not there so she dials the other bar in town and hands ME the phone.  They say he’s not there either.  She doesn’t believe that so she says why don’t she and I go get a drink!!!  She says, “Your single, right?”!!!!!  Then she seems surprised that I’m indeed NOT single but married to the guy in the house!!!  Then she wants me to just take her down there to which I said I would take her home but I would not take her to a bar.  

She finally decides to wait for her friend outside so I leave the light on for her and go back in the house.  She did hug me again before she left and thanked me and I again told her I would be praying for her and she clung to me for the longest time.  

When I go back in the house, the phone rings and its her mother.  So I go outside with the phone and look all over for her but she’s gone.  I even go around front and look but she’s nowhere to be found.  Her mom thanks me and apologizes and says her daughter needs to go to AA.  

We finally go up to get ready for bed and while John is in the bathroom, he hears a loud bang!  He comes out and his dad heard it too and came out of his room.  John looks out the upstairs window at the house across the street and sees this girl (her name is Amanda by the way) running around the house!  

By the time I fill John in on the whole story, its after midnight!!!  So much for going to bed early!!!  She didn’t even leave until about 11:30!!!!  

We find out later that the cops did pick  her up that night and then a week later she was arrested again.

Oh one other thing I forgot……..not only did I see her butt tattoos (front AND back!) but before I got the Kleenex out, she lifted her shirt to wipe her nose and I saw her whole upper self!!!!!!!  Geez Louise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that’s my story!!!!  

Quite a night it was!!!”

I’d like to say that this was the last time we ever saw this girl but she came back many more times (though she was usually sober).  She even brought her kid over one time.  She told me she was going to get her life straightened up but last I heard she was arrested and spent about a year in jail.  I have no idea where she is now.

As for the baby daddy, he eventually moved out with all his drama and I never saw any of them again.

Who says life in a small town is dull????

~Mish~